Archive for the ‘Sorrowful’ Category

Always Welcome

Friday, November 6th, 2009

A few months ago, I was in late night Eucharistic Adoration at St. Clement’s Shrine in Boston. Now, I have the 3am-4am Saturday night shift, and with the Shrine being right near the nightclub hotspots, the only things going on around the area are, as an old friend used to say, “nuthin good”.

So around 3:15 or so, I heard a very loud crash on the street outside. Another person inside the Shrine ran outside. A few moments later, there were sirens. I stayed and began to pray the Divine Mercy chaplet.

Well, I kept praying after my friend returned inside the Shrine. Suddenly, I began to be inspired to pray for all who were dying. It was so much so, that I continued the rest of the hour offering the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament to the Father in the chaplet. It was so strong, I even continued til 4:30.

Praying the chaplet for the sick and dying was something that I used to do a lot more regularly, but something that I had strayed from. I don’t think I prayed it for all the sick and dying since the days I was volunteering in the hospital.

Well, after I left, I went by outside to see the accident scene. A car had been driving pretty fast and missed the curve. It went directly into the side of a building. I looked around at the bits of debris and noticed guaze packages strewn about. My heart sank. It was serious, I thought.

Later that day I received a phone call from my cousin who I had just gotten in touch with. Two weeks earlier I finally made it around to visit his parents in the nursing home. My uncle was suffering from serious dimentia, but in the last visit I was able to speak with him and he seemed very happy to see me. “You are always welcome. Always welcome. Good good good.”

So in the phone call, my cousin shared with me the news: my uncle had died. He had been rushed to the hospital suddenly for unexpected complications on Friday morning. I asked him when he passed. In the very early hours of Sunday morning.

About an hour after I had finished praying the chaplet.

“Truly, truly I say to you, he who receives any one whom I send receives me; and he who receives me receives him who sent me.” (Jn 13:20)

How awesome is the infinite Mercy of the Heart of Jesus! Who will give themselves to Him? Who will be sent?

Will it be you?

Behold I come; in the roll of the book it is written of me; I delight to do your will, O my God; your law is within my heart. (Ps 40:7-8)

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Not Seeing Anything

Wednesday, November 4th, 2009

This last Saturday night I was up very late, til about 1:30 am. Ordinarily, that might not be that big of a deal, but I go to St. Clement’s Shrine for an hour of Eucharistic Adoration at 3am every Saturday night. Then, after the hour of adoring the Lord, I drive across Boston to my father’s house and sleep until about 8 am to get up to teach religious education at the local parish church. That means that I only got a few hours of sleep, so, after everything was wrapped up at about noontime, I decided I would take a little catnap before heading out to meet some friends.

I got up around 1 and headed out to the car, got into the car, started it up, and proceeded to back out into the street, and – bam – backed right into the car that was parked across the street.

“Oh, no,” I’m thinking, “not good. Not good.” I’m thinking, time, paperwork, money… Not good.

The car I hit belonged to a laborer who was working on the neighbor’s house. Usually there is no car there, and I was still so groggy from the nap that I didn’t even notice.

I went to the neighbor’s – “I backed into the car here on the street.” So the man comes out in a good mood, and asks me where I hit it. “I backed into the bumper here.” He looked at it. “There?” Yup. He smiled and said, “I don’t see anything.”

As he walked back into the house, I thanked him a few times.

No accident report, no insurance issues, no cost. What a break, what a relief.

When we make mistakes in life, it can seem like we ‘re going to have to pay a lot for them. But when we’re ready to take responsibility for them, when we confess them to the Lord, He smiles at us. He looks at the damage and says the words that take a big weight off of our mind and heart:

“I don’t see anything.”

“Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do.” (Lk 23:34)

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Learning A Lesson

Wednesday, July 1st, 2009

When I was ten years old, my Little League team was practicing one day on the field, and we were doing some basic base running drills. I was new, it was my first year with the team, and I didn’t know much about all the nuances of running bases. So, one practice we were working on a simple rule:

When you are on first base, and there are two outs, then you run on any fly ball that the batter hits to the outfield. But if there is less than two outs, you go half way down the base line. That way, if you find out the outfielder can’t catch the ball, you’re already half way to second base. And, if the outfielder does catch the ball, you can still get back to first base before the outfielder can throw the ball there.

Very simple, right?

So, here it is, my turn, and the coach hits the fly ball to the outfield. How many outs are there? I don’t know. I run halfway to second. The coach stops everything and yells, “Jerry, what are you doing? With two outs, you run all the way! Do it again!” So I get back to first base. He hits another fly ball to the outfield. This time I run all the way. The coach is now really angry, and stops everything again. “With one out, you run half way!” Apparently he changed the number of outs. I missed that part. “Come here!”

When I got to him, he took off my hat and said, “Run.” That meant I had to start running laps around the field. Now it wasn’t just a baseball diamond. It had three baseball diamonds and a good little greenspace in the middle. Maybe a half a mile all the way around. So I set out running.

One lap went by. Anything? Nope, I kept going. A second, then a third. I glance over at the coach, looking for a sign to stop. No response. A fourth, a fifth … Anything? Nope.

I ran 10 laps straight that day, about 5 miles, I don’t know how. It’s still something we talk about if I ever run into an old teammate. I’m sure everyone that was on that team remembers it to this day.

For the coach, that was a very, very important rule for me to learn. And you know, I tell you, I never made that mistake again. Even in softball leagues when I got older, when I forget everything else, I still remember that one rule. I think I will remember that base running rule for all my life.

When the Israelites were near the promised land, they were very intimidated about entering it. To possess the land, they would have to fight people who were much bigger and stronger. But God told them He would take care of everything, and told them to go all the way in. But they stayed put. They wouldn’t trust Him. Then, when He became mad and told them to stay put, they ran up to go in. Again, they wouldn’t trust Him. What was the punishment?

A loooong 38-year journey around the desert.

Then we turned, and journeyed into the wilderness in the direction of the Red Sea, as the LORD told me; and for many days we went about Mount Seir. (Deut 2:1)

When they finished that, they held off when God wanted them to, and they entered in when God wanted them to. They lived the impossible, and God blessed them with great gifts. Everything worked out.

They had learned the one rule that to God was very, very important: always trust Me.

Do you feel in life that you are running laps, or circling a mountain in a desert? Then there is a very, very important lesson that God wants you to learn. Seek to know it, because once you get it, everything works out.

Once you get it, you will live the impossible with Him, and you’ll have His great blessings.

The Purpose Of The Pits

Monday, May 11th, 2009

Over the last month or so, some friends and I had the privilege of bringing a missionary image of Our Lady of Guadalupe around the Archdiocese of Boston. One of the stops I had the privilege of being at was a county prison. The prisoners at Mass each had a chance to approach the image and express their devotion to the Blessed Mother.

Afterwards, I was talking with one of the prisoners. You could tell he was one of the leaders, and he thanked us for being there and for what we had done. I said, “Oh, it’s a privilege. I hope it gives you guys some hope and inspiration.” He said, “Yeah, some inspiration to get out of here and never come back.”

Prison is the pits. It’s one of those few places that God sends us to so that we’ll want to get out and never come back. It’s a place where many people cry out to God. And it’s also a place of second chances.

Jonah ran away from the Lord and ended up swallowed by a giant fish – maybe you remember the story? But God gave him a second chance after that, and by Jonah’s preaching, the whole city of Nineveh was saved, more than 120,000 people.

What did Jonah do in the belly of the fish?

I went down to the land whose bars closed upon me for ever; yet you did bring up my life from the Pit, O LORD my God. When my soul fainted within me, I remembered the LORD; and my prayer came to you, into your holy temple. (Jonah 2:6-7)

If God has put you in the Pit, don’t despair, it’s not over. It’s so that you’ll want to get out and never go back again, so you can fulfill the great plan He has for you. Remember Him and cry out in prayer to Him.

He will give you the inspiration to get out and never go back.

The Lord is Our Life Buddy

Sunday, May 10th, 2009

A few years ago, I had the gift of scuba diving pretty often with my friend Ron. Now, he’s a dive master, which means he can do just about anything under water. That’s good for me, because I’m a beginner. He would help me with the gear in setting up, he would lead me where to go, and he would help me with the lobstering underwater. And, he always gave me the lobsters afterwards!

Well, one day I went out to dive with another friend Keith, who is not a dive master. He brought some of his equipment. “You need a breather?” “Yeah.” “This works pretty well.” Well, sort of. “The compass doesn’t work on this one – you can use this one.” “OK.” So, off we went into the ocean.

We swam out about a hundred yards and were poking around for lobsters. Nothing was really happening. Finally, my air was running low, so I let Keith know it was time to go back. He says no – see he had only one lobster and needed another one for his wife for dinner. So he kept going. I stuck with him, and gave him some more time.

A little later, again I told him it was time to go back, I was running low. But he still needed that lobster. Finally, I made as much noise as I could underwater, and got him to surface.

Here we were, about 150 yards off shore, with the sun soon setting, and no one on the beach. By this time, I was just about out of air. Now, let me explain a few things to help understand. With scuba, it’s easier to travel at the bottom of the ocean than to swim on the surface. But now, I had to swim on top because my air was almost out. And I am not a good swimmer.

So, I aimed toward the shore, put in my breather, plunked my head into the water, and began to kick, trying to keep my eyes on the bottom of the ocean as a guide. Kicking, kicking, kicking … am I making any progress, I’m wondering. I picked my head up to see if I was any closer to the shore.

There was no shore! I had turned completely around and was heading out to sea!

Now, I tell you, I began to get nervous. I’m thinking, this is how people die out here, heading out like dummies, with equipment that doesn’t work, without a plan, staying down too long to get lobsters. This is how divers become fish food.

So, then I decided I would not be fish food. I would go in by brute force. I aimed to the shore, put my back into the water and kicked and kicked and kicked like I’d never kicked before. We both made it back safe. And afterwards, I had the biggest fried clam dinner I ever had in my life. I never dove with Keith again.

What happened?

I went out without my dive master, my dive buddy. I put my trust in someone else.

Jesus is the only One we can trust our life with. If we abide in Him and His words in us (Jn 15:7), then He sets us up with the right gear in life, leads us in the good paths, and leads us in our life mission. But if we put our trust in someone else, we end up lost and in some predicament. “Apart from me you can do nothing.” (Jn 15:5)

The Lord is our Life Master.

He is our Life Buddy.

Taking Mary Into Your Own Things

Friday, April 24th, 2009

Could it get any worse for St. John the beloved disciple than on Good Friday? I mean, he’s standing at the foot of the Cross, just outside the main gate of Jerusalem. Hanging naked in front of him, for all the city to see, is the One he gave up everything to follow. Mutilated and humiliated, treated as a sub-human criminal is the Man he put all his trust in, the Man who had become most beloved to him, the man who had been showing him God Himself. Now everything was turned completely upside down within 24 hours. Could it get any worse?

What did Jesus do in that hour for His beloved disciple? He gave him His Mother: “Behold, your mother!” (Jn 19:27) And what did John do? And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home. (Jn 19:27) Well, we know the story: that darkest Friday was transformed into Good Friday. And after that, John became the foundation of a whole flourishing branch of the Christian Church, writing a Gospel, three letters, the Book of Revelation, all of which have continued to feed and grow the Church for almost 2000 years. Through him, through one ordinary man, God did one of His greatest works.

So what does it mean, taking her to his own home? What did John do?

OK, for this we need to look at the original language, but it’s not complicated, I promise. In the literal original Greek, this sentence reads, “And from that hour the disciple took her into his own things.” The Greek has another word for house or home that John uses in other places in his Gospel. So he wasn’t just saying that he took Mary into his own home, although he did.

Into his own things? What did John do?

In 1521, the Spaniard Cortez landed in Mexico and encountered the Aztecs, a people who dominated the continent sort of like America does today. The Aztecs were pagans, so they sought God in creation and worshipped creation as gods. This led to some very good things and some very bad things. Some very, very bad things. See, they believed that the sun god, the god of gods, the almighty, needed to be fed as we do, and that the food he required was human hearts and human blood. The Aztecs sacrificed many of their own people to feed these gods.

When the Spaniards arrived, they began to put a stop to the human sacrifice. They also defeated the Aztecs in war and began to seize their land, and the new Spanish government, separated from the eye of the king overseas, abused the Aztecs out of greed and hunger for power.

Chaos was beginning. The Spanish Franciscans had converted some, but were facing on the one side extremely depressed Aztecs and on the other oppressive Spaniards. Finally, in 1531, the bishop wrote to the king of Spain saying that unless God intervened with a miracle, the land was on the verge of being lost forever.

It was complete and total darkness.

Now, bear with me, there’s more, and there’s a point to all this!

So at that time, Juan Diego, a local 50-year-old married man who had converted to the Catholic Church, was walking to church when he heard birds singing atop Tepeyac hill. Upon climbing the hill, to his amazement, he was met by the Blessed Virgin Mary. The beautiful Lady told him that she was his mother, and not to worry about any afflictions, that he was under her mantle and her protection. She wanted a little chapel built atop the hill so that her Son would be known and loved, and sent little Juan Diego to the bishop with her request.

The bishop requested a sign, and when Juan Diego returned to Mary, she told him he would find his sign on top of the hill. There, on a rocky top in the middle of winter, he found fresh roses that only grow in Spain. And even more, flowers indicated the divine to the locals. So he picked them and brought them to Mary on her request, and she placed them distinctively in his tilma.

What is his tilma? It’s an outer garment, but much more. It had so many uses and was so intimate to the Aztec that it literally defined the man. The tilma revealed who the man was, his interior, his soul, his character – what he was all about.

When Juan Diego reached the bishop’s palace, he opened his tilma, and when the miraculous flowers fell out, there also miraculously appeared an image on the tilma:

Juan Diego's tilma

Juan Diego’s tilma

Amazing, right! Now, to an Aztec, this event meant that the divine (the flowers) had imprinted this image on Juan Diego’s soul (his tilma). In this image, we are looking at Juan Diego’s soul!

And what is there? The sun, the stars, the moon, clouds, flowers, symbols that point to the Blessed Mother’s virginity and motherhood, her being in God and God being in her womb, and many other deep spiritual codes that any ordinary 50-year-old Aztec man would have in his heart to express that Mary was his Mother who centered his heart on Jesus.

The chapel was quickly built, and within ten years of this event, nine million locals were baptized, and the Mexican nation was created as we know it today. It was the greatest conversion event in the history of the world. And it was all done by way of Juan Diego, his soul, and his tilma. One ordinary man. It was one of God’s greatest works.

So, now, why did I tell you this very long story, why all the details?

It’s because in this image, we are seeing Mary, the Mother of Jesus, taken into Juan Diego’s own things. We are seeing what John the beloved disciple meant when he said he took her into his own things. And this whole event in Mexico is the Gospel.

In your darkest hour, when things are the lowest, Jesus gives you His Mother. If, like John the beloved disciple, like Juan Diego, you take her into your own things, then everything changes.

That darkest hour becomes the greatest hour, and God will do His greatest works.

Through you.

Juan Diego's tilma

Mary the mother of Jesus in Juan Diego’s own things

Receiving Is The Only Way

Saturday, April 11th, 2009

On the Annunciation last month, I was on my way through a mall to get to the church for Mass, when I saw a little kiosk stand selling matryoshka dolls. These are the Russian dolls that come in sets of five, where smaller ones nest inside bigger ones, until they all fit inside the largest one. Well, I noticed a very small set, the littlest one, that had images of the Madonna and Child. The biggest one is only about an inch tall. I ended up buying it, I’m thinking, “This is a good example of how grace is mediated. This will come in handy for teaching some day.”

So, the Mass was a special celebration of the Annunciation, where about fifteen more men and women consecrated themselves to Jesus through Mary. It was a great evening, and afterwards, on the way out, I showed some friends the little matryoshka dolls. So while we’re looking at them, little Therese comes out. Now, Therese is the littlest child, the littlest one, at the whole Mass.

“Oh, she’ll love this. OK, Lord, now I know why I got these. Now I get it.”

So I sat down, and a big crowd gathered around. First, she saw the biggest doll, which is already pretty tiny. I popped that open, and out came the smaller doll. Therese was so surprised and excited. Then the next one, the next one. Finally, we got down to the next to last one. Now, this little guy is small – only a quarter of an inch at best. It has a little, tiny emblem of the Madonna and Child, and Therese thought it must be the last one. It’s impossible that there could be a smaller one. I struggled and struggled to open it (this thing is tiny). Finally, it popped open, and the smallest little matryoshka doll you could imagine popped out.

Therese leaped and screamed with joy.

And I got a little kiss from the littlest one.

The Blessed Virgin Mary is the littlest one. In the Annunciation, we celebrated the great moment when she received God and His Kingdom with her whole being. In thanks for her gift, she declared her Magnificat, her exclamation of praise for God.

There is only one way to enter the Kingdom of God. We can’t enter by studying theology and religion. Helping the poor won’t get us in either. Living a good and virtuous life won’t get us in. Doing great projects in the Church doesn’t do it. We cannot enter by fighting for political and social justice. And there is no special prayer we can say.

There is only one way:

We receive it like the littlest one.

Like Mary.

Like little Therese.

“Let the children come to me, do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” (Mk 10:14-15)

Scoring “In The Paint”

Friday, March 27th, 2009

My basketball coach in high school used to like to recruit football players to play the bigger positions on the team. Now the bigger players play closer to the basket. They spend a lot of time in the big rectangular box on the court underneath the basket. In that box, called “the paint”, he used to say, “it’s football on the basketball court.” It’s very physical. Little guys like me have trouble “in the paint”.

Now one of the things that he coached too was that when you are “in the paint”, when you are playing football on the basketball court, you can’t aim for the basket when you take your shot. You have to aim instead for the backboard attached to the hoop. Why? Because you need a very gentle touch to get the ball into the hoop when you are that close. And there’s nothing gentle about football on the basketball court.

But, thankfully, the backboard is always there, always attached to the basket. It somehow gives you the gentle touch when you’re in the paint. The backboard softens every shot, and even makes up for bad aim.

If we want to be close to Jesus our Goal, then we are going to be “in the paint”. It is not a gentle place. To be close to Him, disciples must endure the cold and poverty of the cave. Or the life in exile in Egypt. Or life in a poor, destitute nowhere town. Or throngs of loud and pushy people. Or unrelenting demands from social outcasts, the needy, sick, and broken. Or antagonizing and angry personalities. Or human torture. Or violent soldiers. Or criminals. And of course, death.

How can we reach our goal? How can we get the gentle touch?

We have a backboard: “Behold, your mother!” (Jn 19:28)

Wherever Jesus is, Mary is always there, always attached to her Son. She gives us the gentle touch to meet her Son when we’re in the football area of our basketball court. She softens all our reaches for Him and makes up for our bad aim.

Mary gives us the ability to score “in the paint”.

All You’ve Got

Friday, January 9th, 2009

The other morning I set out as usual to go to the car, and after I closed the front door and began to walk down the front steps, I felt my foot slide. Whoa. I looked down more closely, then I looked around. The whole stairs, the sidewalk, the car, the street – everything was covered with ice.

So a little later in the morning I set out to walk to church. Once I first set out down the street, I slowly began to breathe in the fresh air. I looked up at the sky for the first time in the day, and noticed a pulse of the sun hidden from everyone’s attention. Vibrant colors trickled out from around it and seemed to envelope my thoughts, and … plunk! … I was on the ground. Just like that, my feet went out from under me.

“Are you OK?” a neighbor asked. “Yeah, I’m fine,” I laughed.

And I got right back up, and continued on. I didn’t give up and go back. I didn’t worry or become afraid of the next steps. I did walk with a little more attention to the slippery stuff. “OK, OK, Lord, I get it.” You know why? Because I wanted to be with the Lord, going to church, to my Father’s house.

It’s that important to me. It’s all I’ve got.

So many times the disciples put their foot in the their mouths. Like the time Samaritans rejected the Lord, and then James and John asked Him if they should “command fire to come down from heaven, and consume them.” (Lk 9:54) Or the time Peter doubted the Lord and gave in to fear as he walked on water. But each time, they got right back up, they tried to learn the lesson, and went forward in the way. Why? Because they were with the Lord. They were going to their Father’s house.

It was that important to them. It’s all they had. And so they changed the world.

As we journey to our Father’s house, Our Lord warns us of slippery dangers along the way: “Behold I send you as sheep in the midst of wolves.” (Jn 10:16) He even tells us how to avoid them and overcome them. But we all will be tested, and we all will fall some time: “For in many things we all offend.” (Jam 3:2) When you do, in order to get back up and continue on the way, you’ll have to answer the question:

How important is it to you? How important is it to be with Jesus, going to our Father’s house?

Is it all you’ve got?

Nothing Can Separate Us From His Love

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

Each of the past few years, I’ve attended the Medical Professionals for Divine Mercy Conference at Holy Cross College in Worcester, MA. Having been in Pastoral Care for 5 years and now serving a few nursing homes as a Minister of Holy Communion, it is a great place to be with other people who bring the Divine Mercy to the sick and dying.

When you arrive at the conference, you get a little care-bag with a schedule and some other things in it. One of the things is a rubber red and white bracelet, with the words “Divine Mercy” and “Jesus I Trust in You” engraved in it. Well, when I got back from the conference in April 07, I gave that bracelet to my mother. She wore it every day since, and never took it off.

When she began to become sick with cancer in late March, she began to experience more anxiety, and she was also beginning to lose some of her dexterity. One day, as she was trying to cut off a hospital tag from her wrist, she accidentally cut the bracelet. She had found comfort in the bracelet, and she was heartbroken and asked me if I could fix it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t, and I tried to console her.

What never occurred to me was that I was planning to go to the conference again in a few weeks. When it came around, I had forgotten about the bracelet. I was so busy with what was happening with my mother’s health – she was in the hospital and not doing well – that I missed the first of the two days of the conference, and I made it just for a brief hour on the second day. I almost canceled altogether, but I made it. An hour drive out, an hour stay, and an hour drive back. That’s right: two hours of driving for one short talk, a bagel, and a coffee – that’s it.

But I got the bag!

When I looked through it, I saw the bracelet, and it’s only then that I remembered it. “How much You love her,” I said to the Lord in my heart. I was so happy to present it to her when I got back. On her last day in the hospital, she put it on and never took it off.

On my mother’s last night, she was fading and exhausted from the bout of vomiting and stomach cramps she was going through. We weren’t sure what was happening with her, so I thought at first I would cancel the evening plans I had and spend the evening just with her, to talk with her about the Lord and His Love, which we hadn’t done in a little while. But we all decided to bring her to the hospital. She was able to get dressed, but as we walked to the door with her walker, she was breathing very heavily and was distressed. I could see she was struggling and anxious, and I thought it was best for her to just lay down and rest, and I’d call an ambulance. At the same time, she lost all her energy, and she began to collapse. In a rush, I reached out to hold her under her arms, and said, “Ma, let go – I have you,” so that I could lay her down. When she let go, her heart had stopped and she wasn’t breathing. I called 911, and the operator coached me through CPR while the ambulance was on its way, but there was no response.

When the paramedics arrived, they took over, and I moved to the side of the room, on my knees, face to the ground, praying the Divine Mercy chaplet with all I had left. It didn’t look good at all.

I was afraid. In my mind, I’m thinking, this isn’t a happy, peaceful death. This is a distressing death. I couldn’t concentrate in prayer to pray the chaplet. There were no good signs.

I said to the Lord in my heart, “After all this, Lord, don’t let it be.” My heart desired something positive to find more hope in.

Just as I thought this in my heart, with my face on the ground, I noticed footsteps approaching me. I raised my head, and one of the paramedic crew was handing me something.

It was the bracelet.

Facing me in white were the words “Divine Mercy”.

Who then shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation? Or distress? Or famine? Or nakedness? Or danger? Or persecution? Or the sword? But in all these things we overcome, because of him that has loved us. For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor might, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 8:35,37-39)