Funeral Mass for Mom
Ruth S. (Topjian) Kiley
August 4, 1932 – September 2, 2008
St. Theresa of Avila Church
West Roxbury, MA
Saturday, September 6, 2008
11:30 a.m.
Main Celebrant:
Fr. Bill Lohan
Concelebrants:
Msgr. William Helmick, Fr. Charles Higgins, Fr. Andreas Davison, Fr. Greg Staab, OMV
Acolyte:
Br. Nnamdi Moneme, OMV
Readers:
Jennifer Stevenson, First Reading
Sonia Frissora, Second Reading
John Amuzzini, Prayers of the Faithful
Gift Bearers:
Andrea and Lauren Kelley
Eulogy:
Jerome Kiley
Musicians:
Lila Cleary, organist
Richard Bunbury, vocalist
Processional Hymn:
Jesus, my Lord, my God, my all!
1. Jesus, my Lord, my God, my all!
How can I love Thee as I ought?
And how revere this wondrous gift,
So far surpassing hope or thought?
Refrain:
Sweet Sacrament, we Thee adore!
Oh, make us love Thee more and more.
Oh, make us love Thee more and more.
2. Had I but Mary’s sinless heart
With which to love Thee, dearest King,
Oh, with whatever fervent praise,
Thy goodness, Jesus, would I sing!
Refrain
3. Thy Body, Soul and Godhead, all!
O mystery of love divine!
I cannot compass all I have,
For all Thou hast and art is mine!
Refrain
First Reading:
A Reading from the Book of Ecclesiastes (Ecc 3:1-11)
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to rend, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
What gain has the worker from his toil?
I have seen the business that God has given to the sons of men to be busy with.
He has made everything beautiful in its time; also he has put eternity into man’s mind, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.
The Word of the Lord
Responsorial Psalm: Ps 42:3,5; 43:3,4
R. (42:2) Like a deer that longs for running streams, my soul longs for you, my God.
Athirst is my soul for God, the living God.
When shall I go and behold the face of God?
R. Like a deer that longs for running streams, my soul longs for you, my God.
I went with the throng
and led them in procession to the house of God,
Amid loud cries of joy and thanksgiving,
with the multitude keeping festival.
R. Like a deer that longs for running streams, my soul longs for you, my God.
Send forth your light and your fidelity;
they shall lead me on
And bring me to your holy mountain,
to your dwelling-place.
R. Like a deer that longs for running streams, my soul longs for you, my God.
Then will I go in to the altar of God,
the God of my gladness and joy;
then will I give you thanks upon the harp,
O God, my God!
R. Like a deer that longs for running streams, my soul longs for you, my God.
Second Reading:
A Reading from the Book of Revelation (Rev 21:1-7)
Then I saw a new heaven and a new earth; for the first heaven and the first earth had passed away, and the sea was no more.
And I saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down out of heaven from God, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband;
and I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, “Behold, the dwelling of God is with men. He will dwell with them, and they shall be his people, and God himself will be with them;
he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.”
And he who sat upon the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” Also he said, “Write this, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
And he said to me, “It is done! I am the Alpha and the Omega, the beginning and the end. To the thirsty I will give from the fountain of the water of life without payment.
He who conquers shall have this heritage, and I will be his God and he shall be my son.
The Word of the Lord
Alleluia:
Alleluia
If we die with Christ, we shall live with him; if we are faithful to the end, we shall reign with him.
Alleluia
Gospel:
A Reading from the Holy Gospel According to Matthew (Mt 25:31-40)
“When the Son of man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on his glorious throne.
Before him will be gathered all the nations, and he will separate them one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats,
and he will place the sheep at his right hand, but the goats at the left.
Then the King will say to those at his right hand, `Come, O blessed of my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world;
for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me,
I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’
Then the righteous will answer him, `Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink?
And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you?
And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’
And the King will answer them, `Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brethren, you did it to me.’”
The Gospel of the Lord
Offertory Hymn:
Mother of Christ
1. Mother of Christ, Mother of Christ,
What shall I ask of thee?
I do not sigh for the wealth of earth
For the joys that fade and flee
But, Mother of Christ, Mother of Christ
This do I long to see
The bliss unfold which your arms enfold
The treasure upon thy knee.
2. Mother of Christ, Mother of Christ,
I toss on a stormy sea,
Oh, lift your child as a beacon light
To the port where I fain would be
And, Mother of Christ, Mother of Christ
This do I ask of thee,
When the voyage is o’er, O stand on the shore,
And show Him at last to me.
Communion Hymn:
Lord, When You Came To The Seashore
1. Lord, when you came to the seashore you weren’t seeking the wise or the wealthy, but only asking that I might follow.
Refrain:
O Lord, in my eyes you were gazing, Kindly smiling, my name you were saying; All I treasured, I have left on the sand there; Close to you, I will find other seas.
2. Lord, you knew what my boat carried: neither money nor weapons for fighting, but nets for fishing my daily labor.
Refrain
3. Lord, have you need of my labor, hands for service, a heart made for loving, my arms for lifting the poor and broken?
Refrain
4. Lord, send me where you would have me, to a village, or heart of the city; I will remember that you are with me.
Refrain
Recessional Hymn:
Adoramus Te Christe
Adoramus Te Christe,
et benedicimus Tibi:
Adoramus Te Christe,
et benedicimus Tibi:
quia per sanctam crucem tuam
redemisti mundum.
Adoramus Te Christe,
et benedicimus Tibi,
Adoramus Te Christe.
Eulogy:
First, I’d like to thank all the priests and all of our extended family and friends for your presence and support in honoring my mother today. I know the obituary was only in the Herald. When my brother and I met the funeral director and he offered to have the obituary in the Globe and the Herald, I looked at my brother. My mother, give money to the Globe? That’s not gonna happen!
Thank you, God, for everything.
If you come after the Mass, you’ll see these words written on the tombstone at my mother’s grave. These are the words that characterized her life. These were the words we heard so often in the house, through all events, whether joyful or sorrowful. So many days I remember my mother finishing a long day caring for her family and keeping the house, sitting on the couch for her first rest with my sister in her arms, and letting out a sigh with those words: “Thank you, God, for everything.”
And this gratitude showed in her generosity and devotion. She gave always. To my father, always with him, always caring for him – especially through his medical conditions, she has always been with him. And anyone who has seen the process we go through to get my father up the front stairs of the house has witnessed it.
She gave always to my sister, my brother, and me. She was always there for us for anything, and anytime, on any day. She always thought of us. Even though we did not have much money, my brother and I were both able to go to college, because of her generosity and care.
She has given to so many charitable causes that I’ve lost track. She gave to everyone.
She also taught us to speak out. One Christmas as a young mother, she had put up a Christmas tree – you know those shiny metal, tinsel-like trees that you assemble? Well, she had put the whole thing together after about 4 hours, and then she took a break on a phone call for about a half an hour. When she came back into the room, all the branches as high as a four-year-old could reach were taken down. My brother had taken apart all the branches, had taken all the bulbs off the branches, all the little caps were taken out of the bulbs, and all the little hooks were taken out of the caps. When my mother saw this, she said, she cried. Then, she sent both of us to our room. I had been sitting on the couch at the time, my little feet not even reaching the end of the cushion. Now, my mother told me this story a few months ago, and when she said this, I said, “Ma, why did you send me to my room? What did I do?”
She said, “You were an accomplice!”
My mother was always devoted to her family, but maybe her devotion is most visible in her devotion to my sister. My sister Lisa was born with damage to her brain, and so she did not have any mature growth. She was totally dependent, and was not able to speak. But she lived almost 28 years. She is a saint – she is at the feet of Jesus interceding for us. And in the Gospel at the Mass, the Lord says that whatever you’ve done to the least of these my brethren, you’ve done to me. Well, we took some time to put some numbers to what my mother has done for my sister.
She clothed her 10,000 times. Several times each week, she would get up in the middle of the night to comfort my sister, to give her orange juice. She did this several thousand times. A hundred times she put a gastro-intestinal tube into her stomach because my sister had difficulty swallowing. And meals. My mother fed my sister 30,000 meals.
Fr. Bill mentioned in the homily that someday we will all speak to each other again. But my sister has already spoken to my mother. In these last times of my mother’s life, my sister spoke her very first words to my mother.
She spoke in the constant presence of her family, my father’s companionship and devotion, my brother’s and my being able to be always present. She spoke in my mother’s being drawn to visit Jesus in the tabernacle so frequently. In the Bible Study group here at St. Theresa’s. In reconciliation and renewing relations with distant friends and neighbors. In the doctors and hospital staff, who were so good to us, and who got to witness a miracle. In the great graces she received from people’s prayers, from your prayers. In being able to attend my brother’s and sister-in-law’s wedding. And in you, each one of you, your presence. Each of you is an important part of my sister’s very first words to my mother.
These are very special words.
Because they are the words of Christ Himself.
“Come, O blessed of my father, and inherit the kingdom prepared for you, from the foundation of the world.”
Thank you, God, for everything.
