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Becoming A Treasurer

Friday, September 11th, 2009

A month ago, my friend’s father came by my father’s house to help me with some electrical work. We were updating all the electrical outlets and switches in the house. He’s a master electrician – I was the apprentice.

One of the things he gets to do, being a master, is change the outlets without turning off the power. Now that can be a very dangerous thing, right? A good zap of 120 volts through the body on a hot and sticky summer day and I could end up in the hospital. But I trusted him, and after a little teaching session, I was off to change outlets and switches on my own without the power turned off.

The first one went fine. The second one was a little different. I first knew something wasn’t going right when I got a little zap from the metal box in the wall. Then, while I was trying to move a wire around, all of a sudden there was a big spark, a loud smack, and switch came out of my hand.

I was OK. The switch was OK. The outlet was OK.

But after that, I made very sure that the power was off before I touched an outlet.

So, later on, his wife Mary came by to bring us some food. She had just the meal that he liked, with a thermos of tea that perfectly hit the spot. She came by again later with some low-sugar pudding for a snack, just what he was looking for. Low-sugar because he’s diabetic. “Are we going to have some dinner?” I asked with my belly grumbling. “Oh no, this is all he needs. Just this snack,” Mary answered. She seemed to know exactly what he wanted, just what he needed, and she got it for him.

So, as we got to talking, my friend’s father joked that he may not have enough gas in his car to make it home. Now, in the language of their 50-year marriage, that really meant that he didn’t have any money on him.

So Mary opened up her purse, took out a few bucks, and gave them to him.

I’m thinking, what this guy does is amazing with electrical work, and here he is, this master electrician who can change electrical outlets without turning the power off, who risks his health doing it, and all the fruit of his work, all the pay he receives from it, all his money, is his wife’s. She holds everything and she decides where it goes.

Why does he hand everything over to her?

Because she knows just what he wants and she gets it for him. She loves him and listens to him.

God does amazing things, right? He does things that we could never do, He is the Master. But, for all that, His wife holds all His treasure. Mary holds all the fruit of his works. She keeps all God’s treasure in her heart. She holds everything and she decides where it goes.

Why does God hand everything over to her?

Because she knows just what He wants and she gets it for Him. She loves Him and listens to Him.

“Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to your word.” (Lk 1:38)

God desires to give us His gifts, His treasures. They are ours to have. If He trusts us. If we love Him and listen to Him. “If a man loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” (Jn 14:23)

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Posted in Family & Friends, Science & Technology, Serving Others, _Glorious | 1 Comment »

The Victory Of His Resurrection Is Ours

Saturday, August 15th, 2009

Today was the inaugural Mass for the return of Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration at St. Clement’s Shrine in Boston. It was a great, great day. There were so many incredibly beautiful and powerful aspects to the day, it was just a great privilege to be there.

But I have to say, my favorite part was when Cardinal O’Malley placed the monstrance in its resting place, for all to adore the Lord in the Eucharist. It’s the spot from which He will be perpetually adored for the first time in 40 years in the city of Boston, the very ground zero of the sex abuse scandal. I couldn’t hold back the tears. I can only describe it as the victory of the resurrection.

Tonight, in the wee hours of the first Sunday morning of His perpetual adoration, I’ll be at the Shrine adoring Him. Tonight, Saturday night, I’ve got a 3-6am night shift. There’s a reason why that’s special for me.

St. Clement’s is right near Fenway park. Now, I grew up loving the Red Sox. Even as a young kid, I used to beat my father to the morning paper and read the sports page every day, to see the final Red Sox score and read about the game. By the time I was twelve, I had learned all about decimals and fractions and formulas from reading all the Red Sox stats in the paper.

And then, later in my life, how many times I was drunk in the bleachers with my buddies, yelling at Yankees’ players, and then hitting the bars afterwards to drink more, inhale a bunch of cigarettes, and chase women. And then there are the nearby bars on Boylston Street, where I used to spend many late hours doing the same thing. You know, there may not be a bar in all of Boston that I haven’t had a drink in.

Those late night hours were a time for me to spend in other traps, too. If I wasn’t “fortunate” enough to find a willing woman, it was a time to give in to an internet pornography addiction.

Six. That’s how many addictions the Lord has taken me out of in 4 years. Most people have to struggle and labor for their whole life to get out of one of them. But He has taken six addictions from me, without my seeking it. Sports, two sexual addictions, drinking, smoking, and, yes, caffeine. All because I gave in to His voice, to His Love.

So tonight, in the middle of the late night shenanigans, I will be with Him. In the very hours when I used to be doing those same things, I will be with Him, in His glory, being perpetually adored for the first time in 40 years. Whether I am sitting there or kneeling there, I don’t know how well I’ll be praying for the revelers. I don’t know what I’ll be saying, or if I’ll be able to listen to the Lord. I hope I can stay awake. But when I hear the partiers outside I will know that I don’t belong to that life anymore. I’ll know very clearly that He has taken me from all that.

Now I’m with Him. Now I belong to Him.

You see, in His own resurrection to glory, in His greatest moment, He’ll show me my own resurrection.

His resurrection is for mine.

Do you remember Mary Magdalene? The Lord had cast seven demons out of her, and on the morning of His resurrection, He appeared to her first. Now when he rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons. (Mk 16:9)

Why is she the first one He visited? I think I know.

Because that was the very hour when she used to be most trapped by those demons. That’s the hour that she used to be most separated from God. So, that’s the hour that she adores Him most. He stood before her resurrected and showed her that she doesn’t belong to those things anymore. She is with Him, she belongs to Him. To put it in a nutshell, He showed her her own resurrection, and that her resurrection is the reason for His.

Jesus’ victory isn’t to be in heaven. The Son has always has been in heaven with the Father and the Holy Spirit. The Holy Trinity is eternal, right? So no, the real victory of His resurrection isn’t His own.

It’s ours.

But in fact Christ has been raised from the dead, the first fruits of those who have fallen asleep. For as by a man came death, by a man has come also the resurrection of the dead. For as in Adam all die, so also in Christ shall all be made alive. But each in his own order: Christ the first fruits, then at his coming those who belong to Christ. (1 Cor 15:20-23)

The Lord comes to free us, He comes to take us out of all the things that separate us from God and hold us back from fulfillment. Nothing is impossible for Him, and there is no trap that His Mercy does not have a release for. If you think you are separated from God, if you can’t find fulfillment in life, go to His Heart. He is the only one able to give us a resurrection, and He desires it the most.

Because His resurrection has its victory in ours.

Happy Solemnity of the Assumption!

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Posted in Family & Friends, Serving Others, _Glorious | 4 Comments »

Why He Pays The Price

Sunday, April 12th, 2009

During Holy Week, on the day I usually take a “day off”, I went out to the Chrism Mass at the Cathedral in Boston. The Chrism Mass is the Mass where all the priests from the Archdiocese come together, and the chrism oils that priests use in the sacraments are blessed for the year. The priests also renew the vows they made in accepting the call to be a member of Lord’s priesthood.

Now, you would have thought with my day off, I could make it in plenty of time. Of course not. I ended up arriving about 10 minutes early, but still way past the time for getting any reasonable parking. With a sigh, I made a pass down the street by the cathedral, past the full parking lots, the filled spaces along the street. Then, all of a sudden, there was a spot. Out of nowhere. Great. I pulled in, got out and looked at the meter.

Nothing. Four flashing zeroes. The meter was hungry – and I had no quarters. Now, meter maids in Boston take very good care of hungry meters, and when parkers neglect their little meters, the maids feed them with big pricy tickets. They are quick and thorough – they are vigilant, devoted maids for their meters.

I knew that it was impossible to not get a big ticket.

So, I could have gone to go get change from somewhere, and I would miss a good part of the Mass. I could try to find another parking spot that didn’t have a meter (good luck). So, inside, I made a decision. It wasn’t with words, but if it were, it would sound like this: “Lord, this is my fault. I could have been here earlier, I have no excuse. But I want to be with You and Your church at this Mass. I will take the big ticket. I will pay the price to be with You.”

When I began to walk away, down the street came a priest friend. We greeted each other and chatted briefly. I went to the street corner to cross, and there were all of my friends from the Sisters of Our Lady of Mercy. We shared some conversation as we crossed the street and entered the Cathedral. In the entry was a friend from the Franciscan community that I had spent some time with. I visited the Lord in the tabernacle in the side chapel, and when I came out to look for a seat, I saw a brother friend from the Oblates of the Virgin Mary. He invited me into his pew, and when I was seated, I noticed across the aisle 7 or so pews filled with schoolchildren from my home parish.

Everyone prayed together during the Mass, and after the Mass, my father’s cousin stopped by me to say hello. I went to the Cardinal and thanked him for his words in his homily. Then, I rejoined the Franciscans to meet up with one of the brothers. When we walked outside, I saw a priest who I help at nursing homes in a neighboring parish, and we talked. A seminarian friend who I had been with on a World Youth Day trip stopped to talk. I exchanged phone numbers with another seminarian friend, to catch up some time soon. A priest friend from the Oblates came by out of the blue, and got a picture of us. One of my best friends, the priest who said my mother’s funeral Mass, was there with his parents, who are wonderful friends of my family and have helped us so much. I got to catch up with another newly ordained priest friend who I hadn’t seen in a long time, and, by phone, I caught up with a seminarian from Georgia who was a brother postulant with me with the Franciscans.

I offered to give one of the priests a ride, and as we walked to the car, I thought about how happy I was. “The Church is my home. The Church is my family.”

When we finally reached the car, we walked around to look at the front windshield.

No ticket.

Two and half hours at a starving meter in the South End of Boston, and no ticket.

Impossible.

I didn’t have to pay the price after all.

How was it that I didn’t have to pay the price, but instead got to be with all these good people, all these friends on the same day, at the same time? How was it that I got to be with my true family, my real home that day, and I didn’t have to pay what I really owed?

One little act of the heart. “I will pay the price to be with You.” That one act, and He gave me His family, His home. For free.

We can be afraid to admit our guilt, to confess we’ve done wrong. We are afraid to pay that price, because we know it’s painful, if not impossible, to pay. But the repentant thief on the cross with Jesus admitted his own guilt, he didn’t try to get out of it. Instead, he confessed, he accepted his responsibility and all the consequences: But the other rebuked him, saying, “Do you not fear God, since you are under the same sentence of condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we are receiving the due reward of our deeds; but this man has done nothing wrong.” (Lk 23:40-41) He asked only to be with the Lord: And he said, “Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.” (Lk 23:42)

And the Lord paid his price and gave him His home: And he said to him, “Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in Paradise.” (Lk 23:43)

Whatever the price is that we owe, all the Lord wants is our humble confession and willingness to pay it in order to be with Him. He just wants to hear the words:

“I will pay the price to be with You.”

It’s then that we receive His Kingdom. And He pays the price.

Blessed Easter!

Posted in Family & Friends, _Glorious | 4 Comments »

February 22, A Special Day

Sunday, March 8th, 2009

On February, we had a Votive Mass of the Sacred Heart and Enthronement of the Divine Mercy, followed by a social celebration with food and drink to celebrate my mother’s entry into heaven. Providentially, February 22 is also the date that my sister entered heaven 15 years ago. It is also the date that Jesus appeared to St. Faustina 78 years ago in the vision that He desired to be painted – it is the anniversary of the Divine Mercy image and devotion as handed on through St. Faustina.

Thank you everyone that came and all that could not. May the Merciful Heart of Jesus give you His peace!

Votive Mass of the Sacred Heart and Enthronement of the Divine Mercy
Sunday, February 22, 2009
30 Miami Terrace, West Roxbury, Massachusetts

Mass

Celebrant: Fr. Charles Higgins
Lector: John Ammuzzini
Piano: Lila Cleary
Cantor: Bill Hobbib

Opening Hymn – Lord, When You Came To The Seashore
1. Lord, when you came to the seashore you weren’t seeking the wise or the wealthy, but only asking that I might follow.

Refrain:
O Lord, in my eyes you were gazing, Kindly smiling, my name you were saying; All I treasured, I have left on the sand there; Close to you, I will find other seas.

2. Lord, you knew what my boat carried: neither money nor weapons for fighting, but nets for fishing my daily labor.
Refrain

3. Lord, have you need of my labor, hands for service, a heart made for loving, my arms for lifting the poor and broken?
Refrain

4. Lord, send me where you would have me, to a village, or heart of the city; I will remember that you are with me.
Refrain

First Reading – Ezekiel 34:11-16

“For thus says the Lord GOD: Behold, I, I myself will search for my sheep, and will seek them out. As a shepherd seeks out his flock when some of his sheep have been scattered abroad, so will I seek out my sheep; and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness. And I will bring them out from the peoples, and gather them from the countries, and will bring them into their own land; and I will feed them on the mountains of Israel, by the fountains, and in all the inhabited places of the country. I will feed them with good pasture, and upon the mountain heights of Israel shall be their pasture; there they shall lie down in good grazing land, and on fat pasture they shall feed on the mountains of Israel. I myself will be the shepherd of my sheep, and I will make them lie down, says the Lord GOD. I will seek the lost, and I will bring back the strayed, and I will bind up the crippled, and I will strengthen the weak, and the fat and the strong I will watch over; I will feed them in justice.”

The Word of the Lord

Responsorial Psalm – Psalm 103:1-2, 3-4, 6-7, 8, 10

Bless the LORD, O my soul;
and all that is within me, bless his holy name!
Bless the LORD, O my soul,
and forget not all his benefits,

Who forgives all your iniquity,
who heals all your diseases,
Who redeems your life from the Pit,
who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

The LORD works vindication
and justice for all who are oppressed.
He made known his ways to Moses,
his acts to the people of Israel.

The LORD is merciful and gracious,
slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.
He does not deal with us according to our sins,
nor requite us according to our iniquities.

Second Reading – Ephesians 1:3-10

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, even as he chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him. He destined us in love to be his sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of his will, to the praise of his glorious grace which he freely bestowed on us in the Beloved. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace which he lavished upon us. For he has made known to us in all wisdom and insight the mystery of his will, according to his purpose which he set forth in Christ as a plan for the fulness of time, to unite all things in him, things in heaven and things on earth.

The Word of the Lord.

Gospel – Mt 11:25-30

At that time Jesus declared, “I thank thee, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, that thou hast hidden these things from the wise and understanding and revealed them to babes; yea, Father, for such was thy gracious will. All things have been delivered to me by my Father; and no one knows the Son except the Father, and no one knows the Father except the Son and any one to whom the Son chooses to reveal him. Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

The Gospel of the Lord.

Closing Hymn: Hail Mary, Gentle Woman

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with you.
Blessed are you among women, and
Blessed is the fruit of your womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God,
Pray for us sinners now,
And at the hour of death. Amen.

Refrain:
Gentle woman, quiet light, morning star
so strong and bright,
gentle mother peaceful dove
teach us wisdom; teach us love.

You were chosen by the Father:
You were chosen for the Son,
You were chosen from all women
and for woman shining one.

Blessed are you among women
Blessed in turn all women too
Blessed they with peaceful spirits
Blessed they with gentle hearts.

Enthronement

Blessing

V: Our help is in the name of the Lord
R: Who made heaven and earth
V: The Lord be with you
R: And also with you

Let us pray:
Almighty, Eternal God, You have allowed pictures and statues of Your saints to be painted and carved, so that as often as we look upon them with our bodily eyes, we may recall with our more inward eyes their deeds and their sanctity and learn to imitate them.
In Your goodness, therefore, bless and sanctify this picture fashioned to reveal to us the unfathomable love of our Crucified and Risen Savior – Divine Mercy personified – and to recall to our minds the streams of Blood and Water gushing forth from His Pierced Heart to be a fount of Mercy for us.
Grant to all who invoke Your Mercy with this picture before their eyes, the grace of true repentance, pardon, and peace. Shield them from every danger to soul and body.
Loving Savior, establish in this picture the Throne of Your Mercy. Pour out upon all who approach it with faith and trust, the purifying, healing and sanctifying Rays of Grace ever emanating from it as from a blazing sun.
Gaze upon them from it as You did from the Cross with unfathomable Love and Compassion.
Through this image may your Divine Mercy triumph over all the powers and wiles of Satan the world over. May all who venerate it never perish. May it be their joy in life, their hope in death and their glory in eternity. This we ask through Christ Our Lord. Amen.
Act of Consecration
With boundless trust, on this solemn occasion we consecrate our family, our relatives, our friends, our country and the entire world to the purifying and renewing action of the Blood and Water which gushed forth from Your pierced Heart on the Cross of Calvary.
We consecrate our entire life from here on, to You without reserve. Into your hands we abandon our past, present, our future. Jesus, we ask You, from this day on, to look after this family. Help us to be true children of God and children of Your Blessed Mother Mary.
We formally intend to renew this act of consecration to Your Divine Mercy every day as often as we gae on the image and say, “Jesus, I trust in You.”

Divine Mercy Litany

THE LOVE OF GOD is the flower — Mercy the fruit. Let the doubting soul read these considerations on Divine Mercy and become trusting:
V: Divine Mercy, gushing forth from the bosom of the Father, R: I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, greatest attribute of God, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, incomprehensible mystery, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, fount gushing forth from the mystery of the Most Blessed Trinity, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, unfathomed by any intellect, human or angelic, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, from which wells forth all life and happiness, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, better than the heavens, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, source of miracles and wonders, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, encompassing the whole universe, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, descending to earth in the Person of the Incarnate Word, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, which flowed out from the open wound of the Heart of Jesus, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, enclosed in the Heart of Jesus for us, and especially for poor sinners, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in the institution of the Sacred Host, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in the founding of Holy Church, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in the Sacrament of Holy Baptism, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in our justification through Jesus Christ, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, accompanying us through our whole life, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, embracing us especially at the hour of death, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, endowing us with immortal life, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, accompanying us every moment of our life, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, shielding us from the fire of hell, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in the conversion of hardened sinners, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, astonishment for Angels, incomprehensible to Saints, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, unfathomed in all the mysteries of God, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, lifting us out of every misery, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, source of our happiness and joy, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in calling us forth from nothingness to existence, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, embracing all the works of His hands, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, crown of all of God’s handiwork, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, in which we are all immersed, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, sweet relief for anguished hearts, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, only hope of despairing souls, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, repose of hearts, peace amidst fear, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, delight and ecstasy of holy souls, I trust in You.
Divine Mercy, inspiring hope against all hope, I trust in You (949).

Closing Prayer

Eternal God, in whom mercy is endless and the treasury of compassion inexhaustible, look kindly upon us and increase Your mercy in us, that in difficult moments we might not despair nor become despondent, but with great confidence submit ourselves to Your holy will, which is Love and Mercy itself.
O incomprehensible and limitless Mercy Divine, who can extol and adore You worthily.

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Changing The Mission

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

My friend Nate came over last week to help me do some work in the attic space in my father’s house. I had moved everything out and sorted it, and after we stripped everything out, there was a bare attic space.

Now, when I say bare, I mean bare. It is an unfinished attic – actually, it’s an unfinished second-floor room that acts as an attic. It had no electrical outlets and no heating pipes before. Now, it has nothing but the bare walls of the roof and the very basic wooden floor boards.

Now what?

Well, we noticed that some of the house had been re-insulated several years ago by some insulation experts. Nate and I weren’t quite sure what their insulation plan was, but we needed to know in order to know what to do about insulating the attic. The house has to fit together as a system. So, we poked around the background spaces on the second floor.

We found that there were spaces between the walls of the second-floor rooms and the outside roof of the house, spaces that someone could walk through and store things. We affectionately came up with a name for this space:

Gnome space.

The gnome space was very cold (our imaginary little friends are out of luck), but the walls of the inner rooms were insulated. This way, the warm inner rooms were separated from the cold gnome space. So, I thought that the attic would be separate from the gnome space, too, but I didn’t check. Nate made a quick closer check and thought the same thing. So, we thought, with some insulation, the attic could be prepared just to save some heat and to prep for finishing some time in the future, if someone wanted to.

It seemed simple. We decided to insulate the attic.

We went and bought the insulation, and after we came back, I finished cleaning out the old, rotten insulation near where the attic joins the gnome space. As I dug more and more, I suddenly noticed something: the separation between the attic and the gnome space seemed to be very flexible. In fact, with one last push, I realized something:

The separation was no separation at all. It just looked like a separation.

The attic was connected to the gnome space! The attic was gnome space (our imaginary little friends are in luck)!

Not only that, but once I peaked from the attic into the gnome space, I understood in an instant everything that the insulation experts had done, why they did it. I understood why there was one less air vent on one side of the house, why there was so much insulation on one wall in the attic, all the subtle things that had made me wonder. Everything now made sense.

Now we knew what had to be done.

No insulation for the attic.

Now we were going to complete the unfinished floor of the attic. Floorboards for the attic.

You know, the whole, entire mission changed on that one discovery. It changed one hundred and eighty degrees. What had started out as an insulation job became a floorboard job.

When John and Peter came to the empty tomb after the Resurrection, it wasn’t until they went into the tomb and looked closely that John got it. See, the burial clothes harden into a cocoon because of the one hundred pounds of burial goop that was used in putting them on. It’s like a hardened mummy-shell. So, in the dark on the next morning, a person peaking into the tomb would vaguely see the cocoon and very reasonably suppose that the body was still there inside it. It wasn’t until they could get up close and see that the cocoon was empty that John understood.

There was a cocoon – but no body.

How can you have the cocoon intact and no body in it? Only God can do that.

In that instant, he understood the Resurrection. And, he understood everything that God had done, the coming in human flesh, the teachings and healings, the discipleship, the crucifixion and death. Once he got the Resurrection, He got it all. Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. (Jn 20:8-9)

And for John the whole mission changed one hundred and eighty degrees. It was no longer an insulation mission, locked away in fear. Now, it was going forward in confidence, finishing the base that the Lord had started.

The Lord invites us to go into the cold, neglected places in our life. Not to just peek in, but to go in and investigate, up close. He wants us to see something very important. He wants to show us a miracle. He wants to personally show us the Resurrection.

Why?

Because when you get that, all His work makes sense.

Then, life’s mission changes.

It’s no longer an insulation job. It’s a floorboard job.

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To Jesus Through Mary

Thursday, January 8th, 2009

When my mother was sick with cancer, a friend of mine, Bob, came by to spend some time with us and to give us all a lift. Along with his good company, he brought food and his musical skills for all of us.

One evening he came over, and after we had all eaten dinner, he took a seat at the piano. He then proceeded to take out a large book of music, music that my mother would know and like. Soon after he began singing and playing, my mother began singing at the top of her lungs. We hadn’t seen anything like that in a long time! She enjoyed it so much, and she had such a big smile on her face, we were all so happy. She went from miserable to joyful. I was so pleased because my mother was so happy.

When Bob lifted my mother, he also lifted me.

Bob is a true friend. He is always welcome with me, for what he has done for my mother. If he ever asks me for anything, I would gladly do it.

Jesus speaks to us through His Church and asks for a few things to give His Mother a lift. For example, on the first Saturday of every month, the Church invites us to make reparation to Mary’s Immaculate Heart, for all of the suffering of her Heart. Much of the Marian songs and Marian devotions give her a lift. When we do these things, Mary goes from sorrowful to joyful. And her Son notices. He, too, goes from sorrowful to joyful.

If you console Mary, you console Jesus. “Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me.” (Mt 25:40)

If you lift up His Mother, You become a true friend to Him. “You are my friends, if you do the things that I command you.” (Jn 15:14)

And He will gladly do whatever you ask of Him. “If you shall ask me any thing in my name, that I will do.” (Jn 14:14)

Posted in Family & Friends, Serving Others, _Glorious | 8 Comments »

Nothing Can Separate Us From His Love

Thursday, December 4th, 2008

Each of the past few years, I’ve attended the Medical Professionals for Divine Mercy Conference at Holy Cross College in Worcester, MA. Having been in Pastoral Care for 5 years and now serving a few nursing homes as a Minister of Holy Communion, it is a great place to be with other people who bring the Divine Mercy to the sick and dying.

When you arrive at the conference, you get a little care-bag with a schedule and some other things in it. One of the things is a rubber red and white bracelet, with the words “Divine Mercy” and “Jesus I Trust in You” engraved in it. Well, when I got back from the conference in April 07, I gave that bracelet to my mother. She wore it every day since, and never took it off.

When she began to become sick with cancer in late March, she began to experience more anxiety, and she was also beginning to lose some of her dexterity. One day, as she was trying to cut off a hospital tag from her wrist, she accidentally cut the bracelet. She had found comfort in the bracelet, and she was heartbroken and asked me if I could fix it. Unfortunately, I couldn’t, and I tried to console her.

What never occurred to me was that I was planning to go to the conference again in a few weeks. When it came around, I had forgotten about the bracelet. I was so busy with what was happening with my mother’s health – she was in the hospital and not doing well – that I missed the first of the two days of the conference, and I made it just for a brief hour on the second day. I almost canceled altogether, but I made it. An hour drive out, an hour stay, and an hour drive back. That’s right: two hours of driving for one short talk, a bagel, and a coffee – that’s it.

But I got the bag!

When I looked through it, I saw the bracelet, and it’s only then that I remembered it. “How much You love her,” I said to the Lord in my heart. I was so happy to present it to her when I got back. On her last day in the hospital, she put it on and never took it off.

On my mother’s last night, she was fading and exhausted from the bout of vomiting and stomach cramps she was going through. We weren’t sure what was happening with her, so I thought at first I would cancel the evening plans I had and spend the evening just with her, to talk with her about the Lord and His Love, which we hadn’t done in a little while. But we all decided to bring her to the hospital. She was able to get dressed, but as we walked to the door with her walker, she was breathing very heavily and was distressed. I could see she was struggling and anxious, and I thought it was best for her to just lay down and rest, and I’d call an ambulance. At the same time, she lost all her energy, and she began to collapse. In a rush, I reached out to hold her under her arms, and said, “Ma, let go – I have you,” so that I could lay her down. When she let go, her heart had stopped and she wasn’t breathing. I called 911, and the operator coached me through CPR while the ambulance was on its way, but there was no response.

When the paramedics arrived, they took over, and I moved to the side of the room, on my knees, face to the ground, praying the Divine Mercy chaplet with all I had left. It didn’t look good at all.

I was afraid. In my mind, I’m thinking, this isn’t a happy, peaceful death. This is a distressing death. I couldn’t concentrate in prayer to pray the chaplet. There were no good signs.

I said to the Lord in my heart, “After all this, Lord, don’t let it be.” My heart desired something positive to find more hope in.

Just as I thought this in my heart, with my face on the ground, I noticed footsteps approaching me. I raised my head, and one of the paramedic crew was handing me something.

It was the bracelet.

Facing me in white were the words “Divine Mercy”.

“Who then shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation? Or distress? Or famine? Or nakedness? Or danger? Or persecution? Or the sword? But in all these things we overcome, because of him that has loved us. For I am sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor might, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” (Rom 8:35,37-39)

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The Coming of The King

Sunday, November 23rd, 2008

On August 22, eleven days before my mother died, somehow – I don’t remember how – we came across a song that was Pope John Paul II’s favorite song. It’s called “Lord, When You Came To The Seashore.” It is about the Lord Jesus coming to call a disciple to leave everything for a new life with Him. We both loved it, and I found the lyrics on the internet and printed them out for us. So, we sat in the house and sang the song together.

Now, August 22 is the feast of the Queenship of Mary. The Church celebrates God’s crowning of Mary as Queen of all heaven and earth. By taking her place next to the King, her Son, she left everything to begin a new life with Him.

Several days before my mother died, she started having fits of vomiting. Several times a day, she would sit up in her bed with a pan. When I was around, I would sit with her and bolster her up with my arm behind her.

A few days before she died, I was sitting next to her and she suddenly sat up with another vomit fit. I got the pan and sat next to her, putting my arm behind her to give her support. We both sat, facing the Divine Mercy image, and in between fits of vomiting, she suddenly looked at me and smiled. It took me by complete surprise. All of a sudden, she began singing, “Looooord, when You came to the seashore …” So I joined in with her, sitting on the bed, shoulder to shoulder, swaying left to right, in front of the Divine Mercy image:

“Lord, when You came to the seashore,
You weren’t seeking the wise or the wealthy,
but only asking that I might follow.
O Lord, in my eyes you were gazing,
Kindly smiling, my name you were saying;
All I treasured, I have left on the sand there;
Close to you, I will find other seas.”

“Listen, your watchmen lift up their voice, together they sing for joy; for eye to eye they see the return of the LORD to Zion. Break forth together into singing, you waste places of Jerusalem, for the LORD has comforted his people, he has redeemed Jerusalem. The LORD has bared his holy arm before the eyes of all the nations; and all the ends of the earth shall see the salvation of our God.” (Is 52:8-10)

“Rejoice greatly, O daughter of Zion!
Shout aloud, O daughter of Jerusalem!
Lo, your king comes to you;
triumphant and victorious is he,
humble and riding on an ass,
on a colt the foal of an ass.” (Zech 9:9)

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Delivering Us From Evil

Friday, November 21st, 2008

The prayer of the Our Father is filled with petitions. In the very last petition, we ask our heavenly Father to deliver us from evil. What does this mean?

Yesterday I was at a local library making a phone call near the outside entrance, and while I was waiting, I watched a young man playing with a little girl on the front lawn of the library. A few falls, a few laughs as she chased him around the grass.

There was also a little boy roaming around the grass, but he was all by himself. Now, the library lawn is edged with a small wall, so when he got to the end of the lawn, he couldn’t wander out into the street. But as he walked along the wall, he got to the spot where the wall ends, and where the sidewalk entrance opens out into the public street – with rush-hour traffic.

I thought, “Oh, oh.” But before I got past that a man came dashing out of nowhere to catch him before he even made it off the lawn.

It was his father.

He guided the little one away from danger, back into the lawn, and back into the group.

When He was crucified, Jesus experienced everything a child of God experiences when they’ve wandered off from God and into danger.

That means experienced great mental and physical suffering. We know how great: lashed to the bone and crucified naked in front of everyone, including His own mother – all to make up for everyone else’s offenses.

But it also means He experienced great temptation. How great? One sin, in the middle of hell on earth, and the whole world is lost. He experienced what it’s like to get right up to that spot where the wall ends and the sidewalk rolls an inviting red carpet into rush-hour traffic: “My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?” (Ps 22:1)

But it also means this:

He experienced the greatest experience imaginable.

He experienced The Resurrection. He experienced His Father’s salvation.

He was delivered.

“You are a hiding place for me, you preserve me from trouble; you encompass me with deliverance. I will instruct you and teach you the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you.” (Ps 32:7-8)

You may have wandered so far out of God’s presence that you’ve fallen into great suffering and temptation. But remember, your heavenly Father still sees you. He will still preserve you from danger.

He will still deliver you from evil.

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Only For You

Sunday, October 26th, 2008

When the Lord called me about 6 years ago, I had to make a big decision. On the one hand was intimate discipleship with Jesus in the Eucharist. On the other was, well, a lot. So, I took some good advice from a priest and did a retreat to listen and decide.

I was drawn very powerfully to Jesus’ words, His Person, His Love : “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts.” (Jer 15:16)

But He was asking me to leave a lot.

First, I was dating a wonderful woman who I thought might be “the one”. We were very close, and it had many signs of marriage. Our hearts were the same. I had money set aside for a ring.

Second, I had a career in engineering and business that was growing. See, I had succeeded in college and grad school in engineering and math and finance, and God had blessed me with all the big academic awards. I had developed an impressive reputation in the field, and I made very good money in investing. I had begun to work with a close friend and co-worker at starting our own consulting business. We both had the expertise and credentials, and the respect of our contacts. We had business cards, contacts, a mailing address. We were getting set to go and put a lot of money and time into it.

Third, I had recently bought a condo in the Back Bay of Boston, and had turned it into a home. It is in one of the prime locations of the city, across the street from the Charles River. All of downtown Boston was in walking distance, and at the Fourth of July, the big Boston fireworks display would go off across the street from my home!

Fourth, I had many, many good friends. Friends from youth, from schools, from work, from other friends. The same group of guys that used to hang out together when we were young still got together. People still stayed in touch, and we shared so many great memories through the years. They were all like brothers to me.

So, in the retreat, when I looked at married life with this woman, I thought, yes!, this is what I want. It was beautiful and I wanted it.

Then, I looked at the Lord. I knew what He was asking. And I wept.

I said to Him, “Only for You.” I thought, “For no one or anything else would I leave her and having children and a family and a house and a career and everyone and everything else. For no person, no family member, no friend, no money, no fame, no position, no possessions – nothing.” I said to Him, “Only for You. ONLY for You.”

………………………..

These days, since my mother’s death over a month ago, I have been busy caring for my father and putting things in order around his house. There is a lot to do, and in between I find some time to reflect on what has happened the last two years of my mother’s life.

The Lord sent me home to my parents’ house two years ago, and He gave me the gift of being His servant in His shepherding my mother home to His eternal Life. I had the privilege of becoming my mother’s de facto spiritual director, of leading her through conversion, through reconciliation with her resentments, through the pitfalls of the end of life struggle, to finally experience the great Mercy of Jesus’ Heart. No one but she and I and heaven know all the things that transpired. When she became sick in March, she looked at me frightened and asked, “Will you stay with me all the way?” I took her by her hand and smiled at her, and said, “I will.” In the end, she died in my arms. Now, I still pray with her, and I have Masses said for her progress in purgatory. We are still going home together.

Although I naturally mourn for her physical loss, words can’t describe the happiness I have underneath it all because of this. As I thought about it the other day, I thought, “Who has this happen to them? Who gets to do this? I can’t think of anyone having something like this happen to them, being Jesus’ chosen servant for Him to shepherd their own mother home to eternal life, all the way through her very last breath. Hardly anyone is given to understand these things, never mind actually do them. Presidents, business moguls, sports stars, Hollywood actors, professors? Popes, bishops, priests, religious? In my limited knowledge of the lives of the saints and martyrs, I don’t know of any – but I don’t think even St. Augustine received such a gift.

So why me? I have no status – I’m not on the radar screen of all those positions. Because I gave up everything to follow Jesus, I’m a nobody when it comes to the political world, the entertainment business, the worlds of technology and business and medicine and academia, and even Church affairs. How did I get to do this?” And as I thought about, I became, you know, a little frightened at the immensity of the gift and the honor.

And then, I heard the words of Jesus, “Only for you, Jerome. ONLY for you.”

“And every one that has left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall possess life everlasting. And many that are first, shall be last: and the last shall be first.” (Mt 19:29-30)

Don’t be afraid to give up everything for Jesus and be the lowest. Believe His words: you will receive a hundredfold.

And His Life.

Posted in Family & Friends, Joyful, Science & Technology, Serving Others, Work & Career, _Glorious | 1 Comment »

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