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The Lord Never Forgets You

Sunday, August 31st, 2008

For a while I had the privilege of teaching mathematics in a small high school in Boston. It was my first time teaching and, needless to say, it was a challenge.

Well anyway, after the first round of testing, the results came in. The results were pretty much what I expected: some very good, a lot pretty good, some not too good, and two really bad. OK, I thought, no big surprises. But, those two students were failing really badly. So I kept my eye on them.

Now, after the first test, I was offering one-on-one help for the students. Some kids would come to me individually, and some in groups. But the ones who failed very badly never showed up. But I kept my eye on them.

A few quizzes went by. No show. Then, the next test came up. I offered more hours for help. Still, no show. They bombed that one, too.

That’s it, I said. They won’t come to me for help? I bet they think I’ve forgotten them. I bet they’ve given up. I am going to go get them.

I noticed that they had a study period together at the same time that I had a period off. So, I went to the study class, politely asked the teacher to dismiss them, and called them from the doorway, “Brian, Dave.” I waved them to come out to me. A little embarrassed, they picked up their bags and made their way to the door.

When they came out into the hallway, I said, “I know you two are struggling in algebra. Well, now we are going to do algebra. Tell me everything you’re struggling with – we are going to find a room to sit down in and do this.”

They got a private tutoring session from the teacher for almost an hour. So many little misunderstandings were unraveled. All the little kinks that turn into big errors and broken confidence were ironed out.

They couldn’t believe what had happened. They thought they were forgotten. The teacher actually came for them? Are you kidding? Their grades improved, and more, they knew me. Everything changed after that.

We all know the story of the repentant thief who was crucified with the Lord. Let me ask, what had the thief done with his life? How had he done on the tests of life? He had been a criminal. That means that he undoubtedly caused a lot of people pain and suffering. Now he was paying the price by being humiliated and tortured in front of the whole city of Jerusalem. That’s in front of family, friends, strangers, enemies – everyone. Talk about rock bottom. Talk about failure. You know what I think he felt like? Hopeless. Afraid to go near God. Forgotten by God. “Lord, remember me when you shall come into your kingdom.” (Lk 23:42)

You know what? The Lord remembered him from the very beginning, in His eternal begetting from the Father. He remembered him through His conception in Mary’s womb, through His baptism in the Jordan, through His prayer in the Garden of Olives. He remembered him through the hammering of the nails.

He never forgot him. He always had His eye on him. And now He had come to get him. At the very rock bottom, the thief had a private tutoring session with the Teacher of teachers, and everything changed after that. “And Jesus said to him: Amen I say to you, this day you shall be with me in paradise.” (Lk 23:43)

If you feel hopeless, afraid to approach God because of your failures in life, remember, you are never forgotten by Him. He never gives up on you. He always has His eye on you, and He will come for you, and when He does it will be a great day. You will have a private session with the Lord.

Everything changes after that.

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The Only One There

Monday, June 30th, 2008

Several years ago, I got a phone call from a great friend of mine.  We became best friends in college and have kept in touch pretty regularly, even though he lives with his wife in New Jersey and I am in Boston.  Well this night he was filling me in on what had happened to him in his new career.

He had started teaching math to eighth-graders in a difficult public school system.  The students were all from an inner-city background in which many families are unstable or broken, the neighborhoods are dangerous, and there is a lack of true role models.

On top of this, there is a state-mandated exam that students must take, and so there is top-down pressure – on both the educational powers that be and the students – to succeed on it.  The response of the school system is to develop very systematized and inflexible curricula.

Now, when you put these two truths together – abandoned youth with an impersonal system – you get a lot of disinterested and rebellious students.  So, my friend, being a long-time basketball coach, immediately recognized a problem:

“Jerome, they’re at the sixth-grade level.  We’re starting way ahead of where they are,” he had told me.  So, he threw out the systemized curriculum and began teaching them differently.  He met them where they were, and they worked on fundamentals.

He kept them entertained with some stories from his personal life.  But even more importantly, he told them about life, about the class being a team, and how important each person was.  And he didn’t put up with any nonsense – he confronted the discipline problems squarely from day one.

He gave them the truth.  He treated them like his own.

Suddenly, the word about him was getting around the school.  One of his students, who was most feared by all the school faculty, said to him, “Mr. Kelly, we like coming to your class.  We actually learn something here.  You’re the only teacher that cares about us.”  After the first day, he never had a problem with discipline in Mr. Kelly’s class.

The kids worked, they learned, they grew – together.

But someone was watching.

See, the other faculty also caught wind.  His supervisor didn’t like his “style”.  She was jealous.

You know what, she made up some vague lies about what he was doing with the class, colored some evaluations, and recommended he be fired.  She had him brought before the principal at the end of the year.  And with her false evidence, convinced the principal that he was not appropriate for the school.

He did little to defend himself.  And there was no revenge in him, no vicious words of exasperation.  He left with his head high.

When he got done telling me this story, I said to him, “Wow, Tim, do you know how blessed you are?  You just lived the life of Jesus Christ.  How privileged are you!”

It was quiet for a little bit on the other end.  Then he said, “Jerome, it’s really lonely.”

I told him, “Tim, He is with you.  He is the only One who is with you.  It’s you and Him, that’s all.”

Saints Peter and Paul both fed God’s people with the Word of God.  They loved them as their own.  And they both suffered and died with no friend with them – except Him.

And so, they were happy – just to be with Him.

If you are going to live the truth, if you are going to be authentic in life, if you are going to boldly do the right things in life, don’t expect that you’ll be surrounded with friends when the going gets tough.  There is only One Who will be with you.  Do you like to be with Him?

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before you.  If you had been of the world, the world would love its own: but because you are not of the world, but I have chosen you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.  Remember my word that I said to you: The servant is not greater than his master. If they have persecuted me, they will also persecute you: if they have kept my word, they will keep yours also.” (Jn 15:18-20)

He is the only One who gives us the Truth.  He loves us as His own.  He is the only One Who is with us always.

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Pluck It Out

Tuesday, May 13th, 2008

On the go.  This seems to be the motto these days for me.  It seems like I’m running here, running there, always on the go to get something done.

But you know, every time I begin to be like that, I find that prayer becomes more difficult, life becomes less satisfying, I am more distracted, everything becomes more stressful … I bet you know what I am talking about.

As I thought about this, I began to notice that not only was I always running, but I was running away.  Away from God, away from realities I didn’t want to face, away from confrontations.  My getting ramped up in activity had really been related to a flight from reality.

As I had a coffee one morning, I thought, “How did this happen?  What started my running?  What’s the first step in stopping it?”  I decided I would bring this into prayer.

Later that day, I entered Dunkin Donuts for my second coffee of the day.  As I waited in line, I looked up at the menu, and facing me squarely in huge purple and orange lettering were the words: “gets you running, keeps you running”.

Coffee!  I had started drinking a lot of coffee again.  I thought about it and it seemed clear: no more Dunkin Donuts.  No more caffeine.  That’s it.

I gave away my Dunkin Donuts cards.  No more.  Done.

Now, I am not as distracted as before.  I can concentrate better, think more clearly, pray better, and act more decisively.

“And if your eye scandalizes you, pluck it out and cast it from you.  It is better for you having one eye to enter into life than, having two eyes, to be cast into hell fire.”  (Mt 18:9)

Is there something in your life that is drawing you away from God, from your most important relationships and responsibilities?  Look for it, and when you find it, don’t play around with it.  Don’t hesitate.  Just quickly and firmly follow Our Lord’s call:

Pluck it out.

Posted in Luminous, Work & Career | 2 Comments »

Lifting Weights

Saturday, May 10th, 2008

I taught high school mathematics and chemistry for a brief time.  Now, before the school year began, there was an orientation that lasted a few days for new students.  So, this was my real beginning with the students.  “Nice,” I thought.  “We’ll ramp up slowly.”

At that first day, a mother of one of the new students came up to me.  She said her family was from Lebanon, and her husband was not able to make the recent move with the family and wouldn’t be in Boston for a long time.  She said that her husband was an engineer and that her daughter Diana had an aptitude for math.  But, Diana’s whole life had been uprooted suddenly and she was having a very difficult time.  “Can you give her some encouragement and some words of comfort?  We are really struggling right now.  She really needs it.  It would mean a lot to me and her.”

So, when Diana came in with another new student, I did just that.  I told her that I was glad that she was in the class, that I was always available for help, and that we were going to get going and to be ready to work hard and learn and have some fun.  She seemed to be more cheery after that, and I was happy.

Well, shortly afterwards, the real first day of school began.  It just so happened that in Diana’s class was a student that – from that very first day – was trouble.  I mean, I tried everything with this student, but she was always confrontational, always obstinate.  I took her aside for private conversations and encouragement, I sent her to the office, I overlooked her attitude at times, and I forgave her and re-included her after every time she was disciplined.  She was never in a “doghouse”.  I helped her as much as, if not more than, the other students.  And on top of it, her attitude was like a cancer in the classes she was in.  It was eroding morale and my rapport with the other students.

About 2 months along, I was exhausted and tired with my first year of teaching and especially with handling this student.  Finally, about this time, I was explaining answers to a quiz when this student, not surprisingly, had a problem with one of the quiz questions.  “You never explained that in class,” she asserted.  “Here we go again,” I’m thinking.  Very reasonably and gently, I explained that I had covered it the previous day.  “No, you didn’t – I was here and you never said that.”  “Please, Lord, help me,” I thought.

But before I could respond, a hand went up in the class.  In fact it was right in front of her.  See, Diana’s seat was right in front of this girl’s seat.  She had been a witness all year to everything.

“Yes, Diana.”

She turned around to her classmate, and as I stood in awe, she said loudly and firmly, “He is right.  He did explain it yesterday in class.”

She turned back around confidently.  Silence.  The whole class was stunned.  Did she just do that?  Our troublemaker stewed in her embarrassment.  Me?  My only thought was, “YES!!  Y  E  S  !!!  Thank you!!”

I calmly moved on to the next quiz question as if nothing ever happened.  But the greatest thing had happened.  A huge weight was lifted from the class and peace settled in.  It was never the same.

Diana spoke the one thing no one else would say, the one thing everyone was waiting to hear.  She was my witness and my advocate.  I will never forget her.

When the Lord gives us His Spirit, He gives us the ability to proclaim the truth and bring about peace: “But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, he will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.  Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you.”  (Jn 14:26-27)

With His Spirit, we have an Advocate.  With Him, we can speak the things that no one else will say, the things everyone is waiting to hear.  With Him, we can lift weights from the world and bring true peace.  With Him, the world will never be the same.

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Be a Contrarian Investor in the Lord

Monday, April 14th, 2008

When I worked as an engineer, my company had things called “stock options”.  What are they?  They are shares of stock in the company that an employee has the free option of buying at a fixed price.  What good are they?  Well, if I have the option of buying shares from the company at 10 dollars each, and I could go and sell them in the stock market for 20 dollars each, I like that option very much and I can make a lot of money on it.

This happened to me while I was working at the company.  All of a sudden, the value of the company on the stock market went up really fast.  I had to learn about the stock market really fast.  Now, a lot of money was at stake.

I did well some times, I did badly at other times.  But the most important lesson I learned was this:

Do not invest on popular opinion.

Not long after the whole stock option event, I came across an investor who described something that matched my new learning.  It was called “contrarian investing.”  What is this?  It’s when you invest in the things that are not popular.  Why would you do that?  Well, because, according to this idea, the popular investors act on emotion.  When they act on emotion, they forget the fundamentals.  They miss the boat.

So, about 6 years ago, this contrarian investor was describing how stocks and bonds were going for much higher prices than they should, if you remember the fundamentals.  He made a good case for investing in gold.  It was going for $275 an once then, about the lowest it had been in years.  “Gold?”  I thought,  “That’s not even on the radar screen of any of the big investing professionals.”  But I had to admit, “He’s right.  That’s true.”  I invested.  It took a lot of patience, courage, and confidence in the truth.

Now, contrary to what all the experts were saying, he predicted gold would soon reach $1000 per once.  Lo and behold, last month gold did reach $1000 per once.  Gold is now big news in the investing world.  Too bad I had to sell it all last year, but only after making good money.  The reward was well worth it.

Jesus calls us to be contrarian investors in life.  He tells us that the popular way has forgotten the fundamentals of living.  “Enter in at the narrow gate, for wide is the gate and broad is the way that leads to destruction, and many there are who go in that way.”  (Mt 7:13)  He wants us to invest in the most solid investment, the investment that is nowhere on the radar screen of the experts: Himself.  “I counsel you to buy of me gold fire tried, that you may be made rich.” (Rev 3:18 )

If you listen to the Lord, it is hard not to admit, “He’s right.  That’s true.”  Investing in Him takes patience, courage, and confidence in Him. 

And the reward is well worth it.

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Owning the Kingdom

Tuesday, April 1st, 2008

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” (Mt 5:3)  Jesus tells us something incredible here: we can own the kingdom of heaven!  Not just see it or experience it, but actually own it.  How?  Well, He tells us we only have to be poor in spirit.  Pretty simple.  So what does this mean?

When I was in grad school I had the privilege of being a teaching assistant for one of the professors in the engineering department.  I helped him teach freshman engineering students.  Now, I have to say, that I loved it.  I enjoy teaching.  I put a lot of work into it, especially when I had the chance to work directly with the students.  Office hours for extra help, reviewing homework and teaching labs with the students.  It was a lot of late nights and extra work outside my own studies, but I loved it and the students.

After the semester was over, my professor wrote a letter to the head of the engineering department.  He was so pleased with what I had done, and he wrote, “Jerome is by far the best TA I have ever had at the university.”  I was very pleased and flattered, of course, but I was shocked.  Why was the professor so happy?  Why was he so moved to write such a strong statement?

Because the students were his.  The class was his.

Whenever I did anything for them, I was also doing it for him.

“Come, you blessed of my Father, possess the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world.  For I was hungry and you gave me to eat: I was thirsty and you gave me to drink: I was a stranger, and you took me in: naked, and you covered me: sick, and you visited me: I was in prison, and you came to me.”  “Amen I say to you, as long as you did it to one of these my least brethren, you did it to me.” (Mt 25:34-36,40)

Whenever I get too attached to anyone or anything, whenever I want too much closeness or too much distance from what God has given me, I try to remember:

He is His, not mine.  She is His, not mine.  It is His, not mine.  I am His, not my own.

This is poverty of spirit.  St. Francis of Assisi could call the sun his brother and the birds his sisters because he understood that everything and everyone is God’s.  When we remember this, God can give us Himself.

It’s then that we own the kingdom.

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Keep It Simple

Saturday, March 29th, 2008

Did you ever notice that Mary has a long list of different titles in the Church?  There’s Queen of Apostles, Star of the Sea, Our Lady of Victories, Mother of Mercy, and the list seems to go on forever.  And did you notice that she seems to change in appearance, too?  Her shrines depict her differently depending on the culture.  Sometimes she’s a European woman, sometimes Indian – I’ve seen her shown as an Eskimo.

Why?  Why not just the same, standard “Mary” all the time?

A little story … I’ve always loved mathematics and physics.  Math and physics are complicated, and there’s something inside of me that likes complicated.  So, when I went to college, I decided to become an engineer, something complicated.

Now along the way, I’ve had the privilege to accomplish some works.  Those expensive degrees paid off.

I was able to look the other day and find my US patent on the internet.  Yes, I am officially an inventor.  I emailed the title to my brother: “Passive Phase-Change Stator Winding End-Turn Cooled Electric Machine”.  He wrote back, “I can barely pronounce the words, never mind understand them.”

So then, getting a laugh, I thought, I also have a published professional paper with another complicated name. I found this on the internet, too, and emailed that to him: “Extended-Range Linear Magnetostrictive Motor with Double-Sided Three-Phase Stators”.  He wrote back, “Make it stop!”  I spared him the master’s thesis …

Unless you are an engineer, can you relate to any of those titles?  I hope not.  Those titles are very complicated.  I have never heard them discussed at weddings or sung about on the radio.  I hope I never will.

Mary is very simple.  In the Gospel, she’s chosen a simple title: “Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done to me according to your word.” (Lk 1:38 )  What is a handmaid of the Lord?  It is someone who belongs entirely to God and keeps His Word.  That’s it.  Simple.

But because of this, she is free to relate to everyone.  She adapts herself and reaches out to each person where he is at, in love.  “I have become all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.” (1 Cor 9:22)  She can introduce her Son to everyone, no matter what their condition, and contribute to God’s plan of bringing everyone home to Him.

Mary has received all these titles and faces because, underneath it all, she knows who she is.  She is always simply the handmaid of the Lord, keeping His Word.

When we keep it simple, it’s then that we are free.  It’s then that we can do the greatest things with God.

Posted in Luminous, Science & Technology, Serving Others, Work & Career | 2 Comments »

The Face of Jesus

Friday, March 21st, 2008

I lived on a mountain as a postulant with a Franciscan community for a month.  One of the difficult tasks was to get stuff up the mountain.  It was a difficult path, and it took an off-road 4-wheeler to make it all the way.  So, some stuff had to be brought up the old-fashioned way.

One day I had the task of bringing several wheelbarrow loads of mulch from the bottom of the mountain to the friary.  It was August in Maryland, sunny and 90 degrees and humid.  And I should also mention that I had on jeans and a “work habit”, a heavy garment that the brothers wear over a shirt and work pants.  And it took 3 trips – did I mention that, too?  Every twenty feet or so I had to stop, half exhausted.  I must have looked pretty rough …

Now this mountain is pretty steep, but cars – and even homes – can reach part way up.  So as I pushed up the last load, I came to a stop in front of the last home, where some friends of the friars live.  Seeing me, the lady of the house, Diane, came out immediately, scooting down the path from her property to meet me with a smile – and a huge bottle of Gatorade.  We chatted briefly, and between her sweetness, her generosity, and the huge bottle of Gatorade, I felt renewed and invigorated.  She went back to her house so cheerfully.  What a change – she made my day.  I finished the job, but I sometimes wonder if I could have without her.

When Our Lord carried the cross up the hill of Calvary, tradition has it that a woman named Veronica met Him to wipe His face.  How revived and invigorated must the Lord have felt!  In return, she was left with the image of His Face on her veil.

And on her heart.

Remember the Lord’s words?:  “And whoever shall give to drink to one of these little ones a cup of cold water only in the name of a disciple, amen I say to you, he shall not lose his reward.” (Mt 10:42)

Do you want the joy of having the Face of Jesus imprinted on your heart?  Then when you see Him in His suffering, be generous to Him.

You will certainly not lose your reward.

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Watch

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

Mark McGwire is one of the greatest home run hitters in baseball history. Me, I played two years of Little League and never put on real cleats in my life. So what do Mark McGwire and I have in common? Let me explain.

One summer I worked as a parking attendant in the parking garage behind the Green Monster at Fenway Park. Now, this garage has a level that is not covered. As you may know, sometimes home runs go over the Green Monster. So, as you might guess, sometimes cars parked in our garage would get a free souvenir – you know, a broken windshield or a nice big, white dent in the hood. But whether the ball hits a windshield, a new Mercedes hood, or the cement, it makes a loud noise – and all the parking attendants make a mad dash for the ball.

One weekend, Mark McGwire was in town with Oakland to play against the Red Sox, and he hit 3 homers on Saturday and by Sunday mid-game he had already hit another one. This tied the record for homers in a weekend. So on his next at-bat, we in the parking garage were waiting…

We stood waiting gazing at the back of the left-field screen, even though it’s impossible to see the ball when it comes. Then he hit one good … you couldn’t see anything, but you could hear the crowd. We watched and listened. All of a sudden: thud! The chase was on. I slipped around a car and fell to the ground, and swiped the ball out of a little puddle beneath the car. I was so excited.

A few minutes later, a sports reporter from the Providence Journal-Bulletin approached me and interviewed me. You know, a few days later, he wrote an article in his paper all about Mark McGwire – and me. I couldn’t believe it. Mark McGwire did all the real work. All the hours of practice, all the games, the injuries, the time away from family, the dealing with the media, the heavy price of fame. He had to actually swing the bat, strike a small ball going 90 mph in the right spot, and hit it hard enough to knock it 400 ft. All I did was wait for a ball that practically landed on my head, and I got 50% of the glory with Mark McGwire. I cut out the article and couldn’t wait to show everyone…

So often in the Gospel the Lord tells His disciples to watch: “And what I say to you, I say to all: Watch!” (Mk 13:37)  He performs all His miracles and marvelous works so that we’ll watch. He knows we don’t quite know what’s coming and when, but it will come and when it does, it will make enough noise so we can seek it and find it – if we‘re watching.

The Lord doesn’t want us to miss out.

On what?

Our 50% of the glory.

Are you watching?

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Remember Who Is Here

Tuesday, March 18th, 2008

For a time I worked at the parking garage behind the Green Monster at Fenway Park in Boston.  One night I was working collecting fees from cars as they came into the garage, and this brand-new big Mercedes Benz came rolling to a stop next to me and the window dropped down.  Staring at me was one of the greatest Boston Celtic basketball players of all time.

Now, I must explain, that as a kid in the 80’s, I was a fanatical Celtics fan, and I watched this player in so many games on TV.  The Celtics players from the championship teams in the 80’s were heroes to me.  So, you can imagine how stunned I was.  I didn’t know what to say.  I was discombobulated.  I told him not to worry about the fee.  I pointed him to the prime parking space that we reserved for “special” customers.  I was just so amazed and excited to be in his presence.

I couldn’t wait to tell my family and friends about it.  One of my friends asked, “What did he say?”  I said, “Not much.  Just, ‘Thanks, man.’  Come to think of it,” I said, “he basically ignored me.  Not only that, he got in free, he got the best space – and now that I think of it, he didn’t tip me at all!  He didn’t offer to sign anything, not even a polite word or conversation!”  I was so starstruck at the time, I didn’t notice anything else.  He was there!  It was him!

You see, I was so in awe of his presence, I forgot about myself and what I got out of it.  His presence was enough.

When Mary followed Jesus into the cold, forbidding cave at Bethlehem, there was nothing in it for her but His Presence.  When she followed Him all the way to Calvary, there was nothing in it for her but His Presence.  And so, she was with God in His greatest hours, in the greatest moments in human history.

The very last words of Matthew’s Gospel are a promise: “And behold I am with you all days, even to the consummation of the world.” (Mt 28:20)  When we really remember just Who is here with us in the Blessed Sacrament, then His Presence is enough.  And we too will be with God in His greatest hours, in the greatest moments of our time.

Posted in Sorrowful, Sports & Recreation, Work & Career | No Comments »

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