Archive for the ‘Science & Technology’ Category

Plugged In

Thursday, September 24th, 2009

A few months ago, my friend Nate and I were putting in a new lock on the basement door in my father’s house. We had a cordless drill, one that runs on its own by a big battery, and we were using the hole saw attachment. A hole saw is, well, picture a small cup attached to the end of a drill, but instead of a nice, smooth surface around the edge of the cup for drinking, it has sharp saw teeth around the edge of the cup for cutting. With the hole saw, we could drill a round hole in the door to fit the lock into.

Now, I don’t quite know what kind of wood that door is made of, but it’s the hardest wood I’ve ever encountered. Even with a fully charged battery the drill labored, slowed down, and came to a halt. We hardly made any progress, and the drill would run out of juice. Nothing’s getting through that, I’m thinking. It’s super-hard wood.

Well, it just so happened that in fishing around, I found an old corded electric drill in the garage. “Let’s give this a shot.” This drill doesn’t have its own battery power – instead it plugs into an outlet. Well, we plugged it in and gave it a few whirls and it started up. So, we put it to the test.

Sure enough, it sawed right through the super-hard wood. Why? Because it was plugged in. It was connected directly to the 120-volt, 15-amp line power supply.

What does that mean? That means that it was plugged into the national power grid. It was plugged into the power source. The drill could draw as much juice from the source as it needed to saw through that rock-hard wood.

We all encounter an insurmountable mountain of an obstacle in life. For this, trying to work through it on our own power won’t cut it. We need to be attached to the power source, Jesus Christ. I can do all things in him who strengthens me. (Php 4:13) Attached to Him, we can draw as much of HIs Spirit as we need.

Then, we can cut through anything.

I will help you, says the LORD;
Your Redeemer is the Holy One of Israel.
Behold, I will make of you a threshing sledge,
New, sharp, and having teeth;
You shall thresh the mountains and crush them,
And you shall make the hills like chaff;
You shall winnow them and the wind shall carry them away,
And the tempest shall scatter them.
And you shall rejoice in the LORD;
In the Holy One of Israel you shall glory.
(Is 41:14-16)

Signature First Name 2

Becoming A Treasurer

Friday, September 11th, 2009

A month ago, my friend’s father came by my father’s house to help me with some electrical work. We were updating all the electrical outlets and switches in the house. He’s a master electrician – I was the apprentice.

One of the things he gets to do, being a master, is change the outlets without turning off the power. Now that can be a very dangerous thing, right? A good zap of 120 volts through the body on a hot and sticky summer day and I could end up in the hospital. But I trusted him, and after a little teaching session, I was off to change outlets and switches on my own without the power turned off.

The first one went fine. The second one was a little different. I first knew something wasn’t going right when I got a little zap from the metal box in the wall. Then, while I was trying to move a wire around, all of a sudden there was a big spark, a loud smack, and switch came out of my hand.

I was OK. The switch was OK. The outlet was OK.

But after that, I made very sure that the power was off before I touched an outlet.

So, later on, his wife Mary came by to bring us some food. She had just the meal that he liked, with a thermos of tea that perfectly hit the spot. She came by again later with some low-sugar pudding for a snack, just what he was looking for. Low-sugar because he’s diabetic. “Are we going to have some dinner?” I asked with my belly grumbling. “Oh no, this is all he needs. Just this snack,” Mary answered. She seemed to know exactly what he wanted, just what he needed, and she got it for him.

So, as we got to talking, my friend’s father joked that he may not have enough gas in his car to make it home. Now, in the language of their 50-year marriage, that really meant that he didn’t have any money on him.

So Mary opened up her purse, took out a few bucks, and gave them to him.

I’m thinking, what this guy does is amazing with electrical work, and here he is, this master electrician who can change electrical outlets without turning the power off, who risks his health doing it, and all the fruit of his work, all the pay he receives from it, all his money, is his wife’s. She holds everything and she decides where it goes.

Why does he hand everything over to her?

Because she knows just what he wants and she gets it for him. She loves him and listens to him.

God does amazing things, right? He does things that we could never do, He is the Master. But, for all that, His wife holds all His treasure. Mary holds all the fruit of his works. She keeps all God’s treasure in her heart. She holds everything and she decides where it goes.

Why does God hand everything over to her?

Because she knows just what He wants and she gets it for Him. She loves Him and listens to Him.

“Behold the handmaid of the Lord, be it done unto me according to your word.” (Lk 1:38)

God desires to give us His gifts, His treasures. They are ours to have. If He trusts us. If we love Him and listen to Him. “If a man loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him.” (Jn 14:23)

Signature First Name 2

Unlocking The Kingdom

Friday, August 14th, 2009

My friend Nate and I have been working on my father’s house this summer, and one of the tasks on the to do list was to put in some new locks and door handles.

Now, the main front door of the house has a lock that is probably as old as the house. It’s a deadbolt with a key hole on each side. It’s rock solid and has a specialized cut to it. So, because a new lock wouldn’t fit the same way, and because this original is so solid and has the nostalgia factor going for it, it was decided that it would be best to keep the old lock and spruce it up. Nate offered to polish it. And a few days ago, he brought it back.

Wow, did it look good. As long as I’ve been alive, it had always looked dull and blackened, but now it was shiny brass. Great, I thought.

But Nate said there’s one problem.

It doesn’t work.

What? I put the key in and turned. Nothing. It didn’t work.

We tried assembling it on the door, and that didn’t help. I thought maybe the brass cleaner had just clogged it up. So, we tried WD-40. Then we tried WD-40 again. And then again. But whatever we tried, it still wasn’t working. Finally, I said, “Nate, let’s go to a locksmith. He’ll know. There’s probably something simple that we’re missing.”

So we went up the street to the locksmith.

“Hello, I have this lock, and it doesn’t seem to be working. We polished it up, and I think brass polish might have clogged it or something. We used a little WD-40 on it.” I handed him the lock, and WD-40 oozed out of all it’s crevices.

He took the lock and the key and started working it. He flipped it over, rotated it, turned the key, and played with a little piece on the back of it, a piece that we couldn’t figure out. Then he put the odd little piece in just the right position, and viola. “It works,” he said. He took a marker and marked on the lock how the odd little piece should be positioned for it to work.

Can I give you something for this? No.

And that was it. Two minutes, if that, and the key was opening the lock.

Nate laughed, “How embarrassing. I feel this big.”

“This is great!” I laughed. “The lock works!”

Each of us, like Peter, has been given the keys to God’s Kingdom. “I will give you the keys of the kingdom of heaven.” (Mt 16:19) In the Church, we are given all the things we need to unlock the Kingdom and enter. But what happens if you’re confused by them? What happens if you struggle to put things together and use them?

What happens when your key doesn’t open the lock?

Then it’s time to go to the Locksmith. If you try to do it yourself, it becomes a mess. But the Locksmith will know. A few twists and turns, and He’ll get the key working. You have to be little, you have to be ready to feel “this big”, but it’s worth it.

You get the Kingdom of heaven.

“Let the children come to me, and do not hinder them; for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” (Mt 19:14)

Signature First Name 2

All He Needs Is Your Witness

Saturday, July 25th, 2009

A few months ago I was sitting in a room in my house and I noticed something moving out of the corner of my eye. I looked again, and there was a black ant crawling across the rug. I got him and put him out of the house. Well, a little after I sat back down, I noticed another movement. Another ant. Hmm, I thought, don’t tell me. I stopped and just stared still at the rug, waiting to see how many “movements” my eye would catch. There was another one, and another one. You know what, the whole family was on a little field trip through the dining room and into the kitchen. Well, after I did the 6-step ant stomp, I thought, now I’m with St. Francis in loving the ant the least of all animals. He loved them least because they stored up in the summer in preparation for winter. And now they were doing it in my home!

They had found a nice little food source in the kitchen and their day out led them from a corner of the house to the kitchen and back. Well, a visit to doyourownpestcontrol.com and a few days later and the buggers haven’t been seen again.

Then a week or so ago, I’m at the kitchen sink, and a little tiny ant comes out from the sponge. Then another on the edge of the sink, then another … yes, now the little guys were having a field trip. They found a nice spot of sticky stuff and the whole clan was out for a taste. Well, I put an end to their picnic. And after another visit to doyourownpestcontrol.com and those guys now are AWOL too.

How do so many ants find the good stuff?

Well, it only takes one. Once an ant finds some good stuff, he feeds on it and goes back to the nest. On his way back, he leaves a trail. When he gets to the nest, he’s full of the good stuff, he shares some with the other ants back at the nest, they get excited, and they want some too. So, they follow the trail back to the motherload. And viola, field trip is in progress.

All it takes is one ant to find the good stuff and bring a taste to others, and all the ants come and get it!

Just one ant!

Now, why am I talking about ants, the animal that Francis loved the least?

Well, one time when the Lord traveled across the Sea of Galilee, He met a man who had a lot junk going on in his life. He had a lot of demons and was out searching. When He encountered Jesus, He healed him, and after that He told the healed man, “Go into your house to your friends, and tell them how great things the Lord has done for you, and has had mercy on you.” (Mk 5:19)

The man went his way, and began to publish in Decapolis how great things Jesus had done for him: and all men wondered. (Mk 5:20)

You know, when Jesus returned a short time later, the whole Decapolis came to meet Him: And when Jesus and His disciples were gone out of the boat, immediately the crowd knew him: And running through that whole country, they began to carry about in beds those that were sick, where they heard he was. (Mk 6:54-55)

It was one man, giving witness to what God had done for him, the mercy God had had on him. And the whole countryside came to Jesus.

Now, here’s the point. What draws people to God? What brings people into His house, the Church? It’s not theology. It’s not explanations or presentations of true doctrine. Not apologetics. It’s not sound moral instruction or warnings, not spiritual wisdom or insight. It’s not the book called the Bible. It’s not exciting events. It’s not feel-good social time or catchy music or advertising or good church bulletins. Many people have gone these routes to bring people into their community with little fruits from their labors. What is it, then? What is the thing that doesn’t just bring a few people into the Church, but brings in whole towns?

It’s a person. A person who’s experienced the mercy of God. It’s a person who has found the Motherload of Mercy, has feasted on it and leaves a trail to it, a person who exudes it and gives it out to everyone he meets. “You give them something to eat.” (Mk 6:37)

It’s a witness of Divine Mercy.

All the Lord needs is one person to fill His Church and change a whole town, just one person.

Will it be you?

Be Foolishly Merciful

Thursday, March 12th, 2009

When I was a boy, my brother and friends used to play a game called pickle. In the yard, we’d set up two bases, with a player at each base with a baseball glove. These are the basemen. They would throw a single ball between them. Other players would try to run back and forth from one base to the other. These are the runners. While the runners tried to go back and forth between the bases, the basemen would try to tag them out, like in baseball. The ball would sometimes fly over someone’s head, or be dropped. There was chaos a lot of times. But once in a while, a runner would get stuck between the two basemen, in a run-down. The ball would go back and forth between them, with the runner first running toward one base, then the other, trying to avoid being tagged and to make it safely to any base.

Pickle!

How do you get out of a pickle? You’ve got to be foolish.

What do I mean? …

Today I was on the phone trying to set up a new drug prescription for my father. The doctor’s office was ready to prescribe, so I called them.

“We use a mail order prescription service,” I said, “can you call in the prescription to them?” “We don’t call in prescriptions. If you give us their fax number, we can fax the prescription in.” I replied, “Well, I think they have their own fax form and procedure …” “Well, you can mail the form to us. Or drop it off. Or, just call them up and have them fax the fax form to us, then we can fax the prescription to them. Here is our fax number.

They can do that.”

So I called the mail-order pharmacy. “Hello, can you fax the fax form to my doctor, so his office can fax back the fax form and the prescription?” “Well, the doctor’s office has to contact us directly.” “Could you just fax the fax form to them? I have their fax number right here.” “Well, we have a simple number for them to call. They don’t even have to speak to a person. With only a few button pushes they’re all done. It’s very easy for them.” Silent pause. “So … you couldn’t just fax the form over to them I guess?” “No, that’s not our procedure. Have them call us.

They can do that.”

Pickle!

Now, I could have gotten mad. I could have said, “Look, I’m the one stuck in the middle here. This will be the third phone call I’ve made, going back and forth, when all that either one has to do is make one single call to the other, and everything would be done. Each one wants their way, and won’t cut a break. Fine. I’m not going to cut them a break either.” I could have just given up and gone to the local pharmacy. Or I could have gotten the fax form and mailed it coldly with a huff to the doctor’s office. All of these would be very reasonable. I was tempted to do it.

But then, I would have been tagged out.

I would be doing the same thing they were doing. I would have become the evil I hated.

What did I do?

Something very unreasonable, something that may seem like foolishness. I retrieved the fax form that the doctor’s office refused to get. I personally drove 2 miles with a warm greeting to the doctor’s office to deliver to them the fax form – by hand – that the pharmacy refused to send.

And I was safe. I made it. I was free. No bitterness and rancor, just joy and energy. I had a great, great day after that, I can’t even begin to explain…

Jesus was always in pickles in His ministry. “But to what shall I compare this generation? It is like children sitting in the market places and calling to their playmates, `We piped to you, and you did not dance; we wailed, and you did not mourn.’” (Mt 11:16-17)

But He was always getting out of them, too: “But I say to you, Do not resist one who is evil. But if any one strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also; and if any one would sue you and take your coat, let him have your cloak as well; and if any one forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.” (Mt 5:39-41)

At some point, God puts each of us into a pickle. When you are in a pickle, don’t be afraid to follow these foolish words. Don’t be afraid to be foolishly merciful.

You will have a great, great reward.

For the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men. (1 Cor 1:25)

Let Him Make You New

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

When I worked as a research engineer, I was given the gift of working on new technologies, especially using new “smart” materials that had been developed by some very smart people. This was exciting for me, because it gave me a chance to exercise all the creative juices in my noodle and to use all the things I worked hard on learning in college. I wanted to invent something brand new that had never been done before.

Well, we had one project where we were working with the US Navy to help them with their torpedo shells. If the torpedo makes too much noise, it can be detected and then intercepted. So, the Navy asked us to help them with this problem.

Great. Something that had never been done before.

So, I did some very advanced analysis on the vibration of the torpedo shell, and helped the Navy to understand it. Then, I noticed something very peculiar about how the torpedo vibrated. Then a great idea came to my mind. I thought, “this would a great opportunity to use the new high-tech ’smart’ material. It is a perfect application. This is revolutionary!”

Excited, I presented it to my boss, who was also excited. It was a great breakthrough for using the material. It had all the qualities of an ingenious and simple design. All my awards in college, in grad school, all my growth in the field, my budding reputation were coming to fruition, I thought.

So I went patent searching.

Guess what? After five minutes on the internet, I found that someone had already done the exact same thing, and patented it.

What a blow. It seemed every other time I thought of a “great” idea, a great invention, someone had already done it. And this, I thought, finally was it. I thought, “This is the best I can do.” I thought, “Everything that I do has already been done.”

What has been done, that will be; what has been done, that will be done. Nothing is new under the sun. Even the thing of which we say “See, this is new!” has already existed in the ages that preceded us. (Ecc 1:9-10)

In the world, in our neighborhoods, in our families and our own lives, we live under the sun. Under the sun, we have problems, and there is always the temptation to do something new, something that has never been done before. But there is nothing new that we can do. Under the sun.

But the Lord comes from above the sun. And He leaves His abode and comes to join us under the sun. Why? Why, if He is Creator and can do everything, would He limit Himself and enter somewhere where nothing new can be done?

Because under the sun, He is not making new things. He is making things new. And he who sat upon the throne said, “Behold, I make all things new.” (Rev 21:5)

You are precious to God. In your mistakes, failures, and sins under the sun, He is not looking to make a new and improved person to replace you. He is not interested in coming up with a clone, or a genetically modified version of you, or an upgraded version of you. He is not looking to replace you with someone without your outdated weaknesses and your track record. He is not interested in making a new you.

He wants to make you new.

For God so loved the world that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. For God sent the Son into the world, not to condemn the world, but that the world might be saved through him. (Jn 3:16-17)

Changing The Mission

Sunday, February 22nd, 2009

My friend Nate came over last week to help me do some work in the attic space in my father’s house. I had moved everything out and sorted it, and after we stripped everything out, there was a bare attic space.

Now, when I say bare, I mean bare. It is an unfinished attic – actually, it’s an unfinished second-floor room that acts as an attic. It had no electrical outlets and no heating pipes before. Now, it has nothing but the bare walls of the roof and the very basic wooden floor boards.

Now what?

Well, we noticed that some of the house had been re-insulated several years ago by some insulation experts. Nate and I weren’t quite sure what their insulation plan was, but we needed to know in order to know what to do about insulating the attic. The house has to fit together as a system. So, we poked around the background spaces on the second floor.

We found that there were spaces between the walls of the second-floor rooms and the outside roof of the house, spaces that someone could walk through and store things. We affectionately came up with a name for this space:

Gnome space.

The gnome space was very cold (our imaginary little friends are out of luck), but the walls of the inner rooms were insulated. This way, the warm inner rooms were separated from the cold gnome space. So, I thought that the attic would be separate from the gnome space, too, but I didn’t check. Nate made a quick closer check and thought the same thing. So, we thought, with some insulation, the attic could be prepared just to save some heat and to prep for finishing some time in the future, if someone wanted to.

It seemed simple. We decided to insulate the attic.

We went and bought the insulation, and after we came back, I finished cleaning out the old, rotten insulation near where the attic joins the gnome space. As I dug more and more, I suddenly noticed something: the separation between the attic and the gnome space seemed to be very flexible. In fact, with one last push, I realized something:

The separation was no separation at all. It just looked like a separation.

The attic was connected to the gnome space! The attic was gnome space (our imaginary little friends are in luck)!

Not only that, but once I peaked from the attic into the gnome space, I understood in an instant everything that the insulation experts had done, why they did it. I understood why there was one less air vent on one side of the house, why there was so much insulation on one wall in the attic, all the subtle things that had made me wonder. Everything now made sense.

Now we knew what had to be done.

No insulation for the attic.

Now we were going to complete the unfinished floor of the attic. Floorboards for the attic.

You know, the whole, entire mission changed on that one discovery. It changed one hundred and eighty degrees. What had started out as an insulation job became a floorboard job.

When John and Peter came to the empty tomb after the Resurrection, it wasn’t until they went into the tomb and looked closely that John got it. See, the burial clothes harden into a cocoon because of the one hundred pounds of burial goop that was used in putting them on. It’s like a hardened mummy-shell. So, in the dark on the next morning, a person peaking into the tomb would vaguely see the cocoon and very reasonably suppose that the body was still there inside it. It wasn’t until they could get up close and see that the cocoon was empty that John understood.

There was a cocoon – but no body.

How can you have the cocoon intact and no body in it? Only God can do that.

In that instant, he understood the Resurrection. And, he understood everything that God had done, the coming in human flesh, the teachings and healings, the discipleship, the crucifixion and death. Once he got the Resurrection, He got it all. Then the other disciple, who reached the tomb first, also went in, and he saw and believed; for as yet they did not know the scripture, that he must rise from the dead. (Jn 20:8-9)

And for John the whole mission changed one hundred and eighty degrees. It was no longer an insulation mission, locked away in fear. Now, it was going forward in confidence, finishing the base that the Lord had started.

The Lord invites us to go into the cold, neglected places in our life. Not to just peek in, but to go in and investigate, up close. He wants us to see something very important. He wants to show us a miracle. He wants to personally show us the Resurrection.

Why?

Because when you get that, all His work makes sense.

Then, life’s mission changes.

It’s no longer an insulation job. It’s a floorboard job.

Flip The Switch

Wednesday, February 4th, 2009

Friday here is trash day, so last Thursday I went to go and put out the trash as I usually do. There is an automatic garage-door opener here, and there is a remote control for it in the living room in the house. So, a lot of times I usually use the remote from the living room to open the garage door and then go outside and through the garage to get the garbage and bring it out.

So I picked up the remote for the garage door and pushed the button. Nothing happened. I pushed it again – nothing. Again, making sure I pushed it hard enough – nothing. Huh, I thought, I wonder what’s wrong.

I went down to the basement to explore. I reached the garage and found the control button that is mounted on the wall. I pushed that – nothing. Huh.

Now, so that the automatic opener won’t cause the door to accidentally close on some unsuspecting soul standing in the way of the door, there are infrared sensors near the bottom of the doorway that check to see if anything is the way of the door. They are like friends looking at each other from either side of the doorway – if anything blocks their view of each other, they don’t let the garage door move. Sometimes, I can leave something like a broom or gardening tool blocking the line of vision, or something can fall in the way – then the door won’t operate. So, I checked both sensors – nothing in the way. Huh.

Then I remembered that there are two light switches on the wall, next to the control button for the door opener. One of those turns on and off the power to the opener. I flicked the switch.

Bingo.

I must have accidentally flicked it when I was trying to flick the other one to turn off the basement light.

One little switch, and I was able to open the door get all the garbage out.

We all have some garbage in our house, in our hearts. Now, the Lord wants to get the garbage out. He wants all the junk that’s inside our hearts to come out. But sometimes, our door won’t open. There’s some little thing that needs to be switched.

At the moment when the Lord came to him on the shore of the sea, Peter was not a success-story. Neither was he an especially righteous man. But the Lord wanted him. He was going to get the garbage out of him and live in him and do great things with him and in him. Peter was going to be the rock on which He would build His church. Peter was going to be the first Pope and the leader of the Church.

We can sometimes think that the Lord wants successes and heroes. You know, people who are good at getting results, are multi-talented, efficient and effective at accomplish things. This is the way the world is, and it can sink into the Church, too. But the Lord is different.

He is looking for sinners and failures.

“They that are well have no need of a physician, but they that are sick. For I came not to call the just, but sinners. ” (Mk 2:17)

If you are having trouble opening up to get the garbage out of your heart, forget the world’s way and don’t be afraid.

Remember, the Lord loves sinners and failures.

Flip the switch.

An Offer You Can Refuse

Saturday, January 10th, 2009

When my mother was sick with cancer, we had to find new food for her to eat. Some of the great food supplements that she liked were the nutritional drinks like Ensure and Boost, you know, the ones that are like a little meal in a bottle.

So, I went to the supermarket to buy some, and, as I always do, I looked for the store-brand equivalent. It doesn’t have all the flashy advertising and bells and whistles on the outside like the name brand. In fact, it’s plain boring on the outside. But on the inside, what really matters, it’s actually the exact same thing – and it costs less.

So, I found the store-brand pack for $6 and the Ensure pack for $7. That’s a no-brainer.

Well, at the checkout, because of the little store cards that the cashiers scan in, the Ensure people know that I bought the store-brand. So, the check-out machine printed me out a nice coupon: $4 off two Ensure packs.

Great, I thought, now the next two Ensure packs would cost $10, whereas the next two store-brand packs would cost $12. That means the Ensure is $1 better than the store-brand for each pack. I’ll get two Ensure packs the next time.

So I did.

When I passed through the check-out this time, I got another coupon: $2 off one Ensure pack.

Great, I thought, now the next Ensure pack would cost $5, whereas the next store-brand pack would cost $6. Again, that means the Ensure is $1 better than the store-brand for that pack.

But, I can’t get two this time, only one.

So I got the one.

When I passed through the check-out this time, I got another coupon: $2 off two Ensure packs. I almost didn’t notice the word “two”, and when I did I thought, “Wait a minute, that puts it at the same price as the store-brand. I would be paying the same price for what really matters, plus I’d have to be hunting down coupons. And what is next, but to end up buying it without the coupons?”

What a scandal!

So I went back to the store-brand.

And I still get the coupons for $2 off two. And I throw them out.

So, do you see?

Do you see how, by offering me a discount for what really matters, the people at Ensure want to lead me to forget what really matters and replace it with themselves? They want to get me to believe that I need them instead of what really matters. They want to scandalize me.

If anyone offers you a discount on the cost of discipleship, don’t buy it. “So likewise every one of you that does not renounce all that he possesses, cannot be my disciple.” (Lk 14:33) They want to replace what really matters with themselves. They want to scandalize you.

But he that shall scandalize one of these little ones that believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone should be hanged about his neck, and that he should be drowned in the depth of the sea. Woe to the world because of scandals. For it must needs be that scandals come: but nevertheless woe to that man by whom the scandal comes.” (Mt 18:6-7)

It is an offer you can refuse.

Only For You

Sunday, October 26th, 2008

When the Lord called me about 6 years ago, I had to make a big decision. On the one hand was intimate discipleship with Jesus in the Eucharist. On the other was, well, a lot. So, I took some good advice from a priest and did a retreat to listen and decide.

I was drawn very powerfully to Jesus’ words, His Person, His Love : “Your words were found, and I ate them, and your words became to me a joy and the delight of my heart; for I am called by your name, O LORD, God of hosts.” (Jer 15:16)

But He was asking me to leave a lot.

First, I was dating a wonderful woman who I thought might be “the one”. We were very close, and it had many signs of marriage. Our hearts were the same. I had money set aside for a ring.

Second, I had a career in engineering and business that was growing. See, I had succeeded in college and grad school in engineering and math and finance, and God had blessed me with all the big academic awards. I had developed an impressive reputation in the field, and I made very good money in investing. I had begun to work with a close friend and co-worker at starting our own consulting business. We both had the expertise and credentials, and the respect of our contacts. We had business cards, contacts, a mailing address. We were getting set to go and put a lot of money and time into it.

Third, I had recently bought a condo in the Back Bay of Boston, and had turned it into a home. It is in one of the prime locations of the city, across the street from the Charles River. All of downtown Boston was in walking distance, and at the Fourth of July, the big Boston fireworks display would go off across the street from my home!

Fourth, I had many, many good friends. Friends from youth, from schools, from work, from other friends. The same group of guys that used to hang out together when we were young still got together. People still stayed in touch, and we shared so many great memories through the years. They were all like brothers to me.

So, in the retreat, when I looked at married life with this woman, I thought, yes!, this is what I want. It was beautiful and I wanted it.

Then, I looked at the Lord. I knew what He was asking. And I wept.

I said to Him, “Only for You.” I thought, “For no one or anything else would I leave her and having children and a family and a house and a career and everyone and everything else. For no person, no family member, no friend, no money, no fame, no position, no possessions – nothing.” I said to Him, “Only for You. ONLY for You.”

………………………..

These days, since my mother’s death over a month ago, I have been busy caring for my father and putting things in order around his house. There is a lot to do, and in between I find some time to reflect on what has happened the last two years of my mother’s life.

The Lord sent me home to my parents’ house two years ago, and He gave me the gift of being His servant in His shepherding my mother home to His eternal Life. I had the privilege of becoming my mother’s de facto spiritual director, of leading her through conversion, through reconciliation with her resentments, through the pitfalls of the end of life struggle, to finally experience the great Mercy of Jesus’ Heart. No one but she and I and heaven know all the things that transpired. When she became sick in March, she looked at me frightened and asked, “Will you stay with me all the way?” I took her by her hand and smiled at her, and said, “I will.” In the end, she died in my arms. Now, I still pray with her, and I have Masses said for her progress in purgatory. We are still going home together.

Although I naturally mourn for her physical loss, words can’t describe the happiness I have underneath it all because of this. As I thought about it the other day, I thought, “Who has this happen to them? Who gets to do this? I can’t think of anyone having something like this happen to them, being Jesus’ chosen servant for Him to shepherd their own mother home to eternal life, all the way through her very last breath. Hardly anyone is given to understand these things, never mind actually do them. Presidents, business moguls, sports stars, Hollywood actors, professors? Popes, bishops, priests, religious? In my limited knowledge of the lives of the saints and martyrs, I don’t know of any – but I don’t think even St. Augustine received such a gift.

So why me? I have no status – I’m not on the radar screen of all those positions. Because I gave up everything to follow Jesus, I’m a nobody when it comes to the political world, the entertainment business, the worlds of technology and business and medicine and academia, and even Church affairs. How did I get to do this?” And as I thought about, I became, you know, a little frightened at the immensity of the gift and the honor.

And then, I heard the words of Jesus, “Only for you, Jerome. ONLY for you.”

And every one that has left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands for my name’s sake, shall receive an hundredfold, and shall possess life everlasting. And many that are first, shall be last: and the last shall be first.” (Mt 19:29-30)

Don’t be afraid to give up everything for Jesus and be the lowest. Believe His words: you will receive a hundredfold.

And His Life.