Living Monstrance

After I left the Franciscan community in January, I was down. Things just didn’t work out, and I was back at my parents’ house. There was ringing in my head again the song of failure. See, I wanted to be living in the “action”, with the Lord in the tabernacle, in the Church where Jesus is at the center and evangelization is the mission. On the bright side, I could still be involved even though I was outside the Franciscans. But at about that same time, my mother began to become sick.

I was needed around the house.

Now, I am not Mr. Mom. My college dorm room had a life-sized poster of Larry Bird, and that’s about it. My condo was furnished by my girlfriend. But for the Lord, my mother and my family, of course I would do it.

But this meant that my great plans for teaching and evangelization were cut short. The priest who is most dear to me preached at the Boston Men’s Conference, and I wasn’t able to go. I watched friends leave for the Pope’s visit to New York, but I missed his whole visit. A friend who is a performance singer had a graduation recital with some of my favorite music, and I couldn’t go. I had to cut back on the homeless ministry and the Communion ministry.

How did I do it?

I knew.

I knew that the Lord was doing something great in my parents’ house. Yeah, I was missing out on a lot of stuff, but I knew He wanted me there for a reason, that I would see Him do something great. My experience is that He is always doing something great.

And He has. My mother is alive and still improving after coming close to certain death. The doctors had declared it over and cancer the victor. This recovery never happens, they said. But she is alive. It is very close to a miracle - it is not scientifically impossible. But after three anointings, so many prayers by so many holy people and religious communities, the arrival of the giant Divine Mercy image (which stayed for exactly 40 days), no one here has any doubt that it is the work of God. We have seen His glory. “It is good for us to be here.” (Mk 9:4)

When Peter was taken aside by the Lord with James and John to climb a very steep mountain, you know what I think was going through his head? I think I know what he was thinking. Lord, why do we have to climb this mountain? All the action is down here. There’s healings and preaching and miracles and your confounding the Pharisees. Wouldn’t we rather be down there in the action?

But he went. Because he knew.

See, he already saw Jesus heal a man possessed by demons. He already saw Him bring a child back to life. He already saw Him feed the five thousand with five loaves and two fish. He saw Him feed the four thousand with seven loaves and a few small fish. He saw Him walk on water and then quiet a storm. He saw Him heal everyone that came to Him in Gennesaret. He heard Him speak and change men’s hearts inside out.

He went because he knew that Jesus is always doing something great. He’s sticking with Him. And He got to see Him in the fullness of His glory.

When following the Lord, you may not always be where the action is, where the great sights and sounds and fellowship are. You may be climbing a mountain instead. It may be a very steep and arduous climb, and it may cause you some turmoil and effort and some social life. But do not lose hope - you will see His glory. You will be able to say that it is good for you to be there.

Why?

Because He’s always doing something great.